Everyone's A Critic

One thing I really hate - nitpicking. So I know that some people may not be familiar with that term, I don't know whether it's a northern or southern thing, but basically nit-picking is being overly critical on small items that just shouldn't matter. You ever have that happen to you? It isn't fun, is it?

The worst thing is that in addition to being the victim of overly aggressive critics, as a mother, I realize that I am often one myself. Out of necessity - or what I feel is necessity, of course. I tell my daughters to fix their hair or change their clothes when they aren't up to my expectations. I mean, impressions do mean a lot, but at the end of the day, is it worth the constant criticism?

I bicker with my husband sometimes because instead of the words of affirmation that I crave, what I often get is an unrequested critique - even of my blog and TYPOS for the love of pete! I try never to correct people on typos because, after all, we all have made them. No one is perfect.

I am going to resolve now to stop being so critical of others and attempt to go with the flow a little more. Love is what matters, not perfection. Perfection is something that I'm not even remotely capable of, so I guess I should stick with the small stuff - you know, getting up every day, doing my best, taking care of my family... the day to day dirty work that often goes largely unnoticed and unappreciated. Some one has to do it after all.

So, since I can't change others, I'm going to start with the woman in the mirror. I don't want my daughters to hear some harpy in the head when they think of their mom, I want them to think of the person who loves them most in the world, because after all, we're the same person. As for me, well, I guess I can only hope that maybe when my treatment of others changes, maybe their treatment of me will likewise change.

Facebook

It's amazing what social networking sites can bring into your lives. In the last year, I finally left "that company" that I was working for and no longer visit their social networking site. Happily though, I was able to find all my friends from aforementioned site on Facebook. ( I hate myspace and only had an account there for my last job). At any rate, I love Facebook, it's a great way to keep up with my friends who are so far away.
In the past year, Facebook has brought back to very important men in my life. The first is my cousin Johnny. He was the closet thing that I ever had to a brother. We both lived in FLA and when I was a teenager we spent a lot of time together. Life and circumstances tore us apart and I am ashamed to say that I lost track of him for a long time. I am so happy to have him back in my life! He has a little girl the same age as my youngest and we are making plans to hopefully get together in FL sometime this year. I would really like that, even though it means getting on an airplane. yuck. Whatever it takes though, I am so glad to have Johnny back and I'm not going to lose him again. He is some of the last family I have on my mother's side.
The other is a longer story..... We met when I was 13, on the cusp of 14. (Gosh that was a big year) We were moving to Florida from Pennsylvania and there was so much changing in my life. On the horrendous drive to Florida, we stopped along the way in South Carolina, to stay with my parents best friends from highschool. Oddly enough, they had a son, just a little older than me. Mike.
You know how you meet some one and you just connect with them instantaneously? It was like that; the stars and planets aligned and it felt like we had been friends forever. For three days we were inseparable. I watched Jaws for the first time with him, we played cards and just had fun together. When my parents first told me we were going there, I didn't want to go. A few days later, I didn't want to leave... But leave we did.
Mike was a constant fixture in my life after that. He was an awesome pen pal for a boy and I looked forward to every letter - rushing to the mailbox every day to see if there was something new. I loved hearing about his life and exploits. I even have pictures that he sent me - still.
Mike and I went to Prom together - his. The only Prom I went to - couldn't be bothered with my own - I despised highschool and just about everyone I went to high school with. It's sort of a shame now, but I'm glad that I was able to go to Mike's prom, he's really the only person I would have wanted to go with anyway. We were quite the couple. I found some old pictures of us that I promised to put on Facebook for him for a laugh.
For years I carried a torch for him, but I was in FL and he was in SC and when you're a teenager, that's a very long way. Life sort of got in the way. I got invovled with bad boys, and couldn't see how wonderful nice boys were.
Years later, we hooked up again. He was a bad boy this time. I think we were so caught up in being what the other person wanted, that neither one of us was ourselves. There was a history for him that I sort of interrupted. Or thought I did. Things didn't end well and ...well, he gave up too easily. I guess we were just star crossed and couldn't get it right.
Now life has brought him back. It's weird. I searched him on Facebook and just a few days later - there was a friend invite from him in my inbox. It's like the secret - you know, what you put out in the universe comes back to you. I'm glad to have him back in my life. I look forward to hearing from him, just like I did as a young girl and just like then, I feel like I can talk about anything and everything. I've missed having him in my life. Sometimes I wonder where the road would have taken us if things had worked out differently. Not that I'm anything but happy where I am - I'm pretty sure I made that clear in an earlier blog entry - but being curious, one wonders. Still, this is where the road has led us and I'm so glad that we are still friends. I love you Mike.