Disarray

I hate it when I feel life spiraling out of control. But honestly, when doesn't that happen? Even though I am OCD to the extreme, even I realize that control is just an illusion. Still, it is an illusion that I cling to.
Right now everything feels unorganized, starting with the laundry that I need to put away and spiralling all the way through my life and ending with my weak attempts to make plans for the summer. Everything in my life is on hiatus right now.
So far, my husband and I think we are staying where we are, but until he actually reports to his new job, anything can happen. At first, it looked like we were getting out of this hell hole that he calls a job a little early, only to find out that we are leaving at exactly the time we were told that we were. Ugh. I just want my husband off the boat and I surely don't want him going on sea trials with it. All of that is totally out of my control though.
I don't know what is going on with my father's illness. He is now halfway through his radiation treatments, and so far so good. Still, one of his legs is swollen and I am unsure if they are going to allow him to have any further, follow on treatment. I don't know what impact further treatment will have on his health and lifespan. One of my sisters was supposed to spend the last two weeekends there, but neither happened. I'm not really sure what is going on or when they will visit as planned. Both of my sisters kind of fly by the seat of their pants and that makes me absolutely crazy!!!!!
I am trying to plan a trip over the summer to take the children to visit my mom while I go and care for my Dad. My one sister works as an airline captain actually and she is also a full time single mom, so her life is crazy. The other doesn't work but she is just going, going, going all the time. Neither one seem to really understand the constrictions put on my life by my husband's crazy job. For example, I can't just get a babysitter to help and then leave my children here with him. I don't know what is going to happen from one day to the next at his job and things only appear to be getting worse. He is so stressed out and morale there seems, from the bottom up, to be at an all time low - just one more reason I can't wait to get off the boat. ( There was a time I never thought I would say that... Strange how things change)
My youngest has her ballet recital coming up this month. That means three days a week rehearsals, dress rehearsals, picture night, etc... It's wonderful but it also adds a lot of stress during an already stressful time. I guess I just better hang on because it looks like life is going to be like living on the edge of a black hole for a while.

Dotting the I's and Crossing the T's

Well, our vacation is finally upon us and I am busy making sure that everything is ready here for our departure. By everything, I mean everything with the job because my house and my yard are clearly NOT READY! I feel like I have a million and one things to do and yet here I am... blogging. Oh well, first things first, right?
I have to turn over the info for my job, in case something happens while I am gone that can't be handled from afar. I have several meetings this am. (It's good to have a babysitter!)
The laundry is sitll in a pile, the weeds are taking over my flower beds and sadly, nothing of any real importance has been done lately. Oh wait, I did stain the front stoop a week or so ago - it looks so much better now. But there is so much more to do. My beds need changed, the garage needs cleaned, the bathrooms need done, is there anything worse in the whole world than coming home to a dirty house??
Thankfully I still have a few days and my mom will be here to help! I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed.