Censorship is UnAmerican

I hate the idea that if someone doesn't agree with what another person has to say - they run to big sister and "tattle." Get a grip people, geesh, I thought I had gotten over that was I was five. The idea of running and reporting something offensive is almost absurd. I think the only thing that I have ever reported is hate speech or name calling. I mean, as moms, don't we have enough problems and worries without belittling one another? I know I do.

So I was thinking about why some people are so sensitive, so quick to judge, so eager to stamp out anything that is different from their own beliefs. I finally came to the conclusion that the answer is actually quite simple. The fact is that in the league of IDEAS, they simply can't compete. They don't know how to address those that have other opinions and so they simply claim offense. Since they don't have any intelligent argument whatsoever, their goal is simply to "erase" the opposition.

How sad is that? I have to say that I have no problem sharing my opinion with other people - whether they like them or not. Additionally, I may not agree with what another person has to say, but I always try to listen respectfully and to maintain an open mind. Open mindedness is another problem of the thought police. There are no shades of grey for those with the moral imperative - only black and white. They mantra - "You either agree with me or you are wrong." I have news for any that hold that opinion, the world is full of shades of grey, and silencing voices doesn't change that.

Bereft of Anything Resembling a Social Conscience....

I am a member on a social networking site - Cafemom. I joined because this site was morphed from what used to be a wonderful site for women - Clubmom.com. Things certainly have changed in the past year that we have been at the new place. I have kept most of my old friends, made many great new friends. While some things change, other things sadly stay the same.

One of the most disappointing aspects of the new site is that it is completely bereft of anything even REMOTELY resembling a social conscience. I'll give you an example. The "team" that runs the site ignored Memorial Day. NOT OK. Then, they had the audacity to have the journal prompt for that day be " What is your child's favorite toy?" Talk about completely inappropriate!

September 11th, the anniversary of the largest terrorist attack on our country, the day the whole world changed, was also ignored. I'll give you that a journal prompt was not needed, but some commentary - a brief letter from the team - something - ANYTHING - acknowledging the day. But no. Sadly all we got that day was some survey on mayonnaise. Yeah, you heard me right. Mayonnaise. Way to go "team".....

Then on Halloween, the team changed the logo to reflect the holiday. I was excited. I thought that they were finally getting it. On Voters Day, I was encouraged further by the reminder to vote. Sadly today, those hopes have all been dashed. There was absolutely NO acknowledgement of Veterans Day whatsoever. Now, I grant you that Veterans Day is recognized tomorrow, so something is still possible... But considering - highly unlikely.

Now see if this makes any sense whatsoever to you. They have probably in excess of 9,000 members on this site that are in some way affiliated with the Military - active duty personnel, wives, mothers, grandmothers, girlfriends, etc..... And yet, every holiday like this one is ignored. The very individuals who fight for their right to lack a social conscience - ignored. Honestly it makes me sick. It doesn't even make good business sense pissing off at least 10% of your membership....

So I bet you are wondering why I am sharing this here? Well, the same " team" has made it against their policy for anyone to express an opinion about their policies anywhere on their site but the designated areas. Whatever. I am waiting until tomorrow.... giving them one more opportunity to grow a brain stem and then all hell breaks loose.

I'm breaking out the steel toes - kicking ass and taking names.....

What's Wrong with Hollywood?

Ok so Veterans day is just a few days away and it really has me thinking.... Scary, I know! What is wrong with Hollywood? Why are they so willing to portray the worst in our country? Why are they so willing to portray the worst about our military?

In my father's day, Hollywood actually supported the military and the war effort. That is nearly impossible to imagine now. These days we have movies like Rendition- New Line Cinema will release “Rendition,” in which Reese Witherspoon plays a woman whose Egyptian-born husband is snared by a runaway counterterrorism apparatus. Paul Greengrass, the director of “The Bourne Ultimatum,” in which the bad guys belong to a similar rogue unit, is adapting Rajiv Chandrasekaran’s book about the Green Zone in Baghdad, “Imperial Life in the Emerald City,” for Universal Pictures.Brian De Palma’s “Redacted,” focusing on an Army squad that persecutes an Iraqi family, is to be released in December by Magnolia Pictures. And Sony Pictures is developing a film based on the story of Richard A. Clarke, the former national security official and Bush administration critic. The love of anything anti- American in eclipsed only by the love of all things anti - American military.

We have certainly come a long way down. In years past, movie stars and movie studios considered supporting the troops their patriotic duty. They made many wonderful movies like A Bridge Too Far, The Longest Day, The Sands of Iwo Jima, Midway, Run Silent, Run Deep and even the Dirty Dozen. Headliners like John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, and Maureen O'Hara would never be seen saying something that was anti- American. Part of what made them stars was that they were emblematic of all that was best in American society, including the American Military.

For every terrible story about the war, there are just as many good stories. For every story about troops that do something wrong, there are a thousand more about those who are heroes. Yet, only the bad stories are portrayed by the media. We only hear about Haditha - not about how 2 out of 3 Marines that stood accused in this incident have been acquitted. Our media only wants to sell their medium and to do that, a story must be sensational, but sadly, not necessarily true. Is it any wonder, as the family member of an active duty military man, that I want little to no association with most civilians who the media and Hollywood claim to represent? I have no time for America haters... and I guess that means I won't be seeing many movies anytime soon.

Waiting for You....

Rattling around in our home,
It’s so dark and I’m alone….
Every room holds memories of you,
They aren’t enough to get me through.

I lay awake in our bed,
Dreaming of the days ahead.
Those days that you’ll be here with me,
Where we both want you to be.

I hate to kiss and say “see you tomorrow”
These goodbyes fill me with so much sorrow.
Tomorrow isn’t hours away
How long it will be this time, I can’t say.

It’s hard to live with half my heart,
It’s hard to bear so much time apart.
Despite that, I’m proud as I watch you go,
Just how much, I hope you know.

I watch you as you walk away….
I wish futilely that I could make you stay.
Tears stream silently down my face,
As I memorize your sweet face.

I know that the day will come,
When you will make your way safely home.
When your mission is finally through,
I’ll be right here, waiting for you.

Variety is the Spice of Life...

That is one of my favorite sayings and something that I always tell my family. Sometimes you just have to mix it up, you know? You can't have vanilla every night, sometimes chocolate, rocky road and even pistachio are preferred. Change and variety exposes us to new things and, at the same time, helps us appreciate our tried and true favorites.

What can be said of ice cream can also be said of people, opinions, food spices, religion and just about any other topic. When I tell my eight year old that the world would be pretty boring if we all liked the same things, I mean it. Life would be pretty dull if we all liked dragons, Harry Potter and vanilla..... Sometimes you need that person who likes pistachio to stir things up.

It is the same with opinions. Everybody doesn't see things the same way. We can't. We all have differing points of view because we all have different life experiences that shape the way we think and feel. That's ok because life would be pretty boring if we always agreed. I actually enjoy having friends who have a multitude of varying opinions on everything from politics to religion. I'm a curious person and I love to hear the varying points of view. I think that this helps me grow as a person. It exposes me to more and it challenges me to really test what I believe.

Some people though just don't seem to have any room in their lives for variety. I find that so sad. I mean, people aren't really connected by a single brain. Occasionally even friends have a difference of opinion. If your friendship can't survive that, how much of a friendship was it really?

I Refuse!!!!

I will do a lot for a friend, but there are somethings I just won't do.

1. I Refuse to be talked to like a three year old. I'm an adult and expect to be treated as such.
2. I Refuse to be held accountable for the behaviors of others that I am in no way responsible for.
3. I Refuse to be disrespected and verbally abused. Real friends don't treat one another that way.
4. I Refuse to excuse poor behavior for any reason whatsoever. There is no excuse for abusing a friend
5. I Refuse to be any one's doormat. I overlook a lot of things for the people I love, but that doesn't mean I will take mistreatment laying down. I won't, I can assure you.
6. I Refuse to be used.
7. I Refuse to tolerate gossip.
8. I Refuse to be any one's whipping girl.
9. I Refuse to have anyone define my ideal of what real friendship is. Friends are loyal and kind. Sometimes they reveal a hurtful truth, but always with love. Friendship is not bitter. Friendship is not hurtful for the sake of being hurtful.
1o. I Refuse to forgive and forget because it is expected. Sometimes an apology is not only proper but required in order for wounds to heal.

I'll take a lot for a friend, but these are where I draw the line.

I'm Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Words....

Boy there has been a lot going on in my life lately. I guess the biggest thing is that my best friend is moving. Again. Saying goodbye is going to be really hard this time. I will miss her and the children terribly. But like my husband, hers must go where the Navy calls, and right now that is Georgia. So back to Georgia they go while we remain here in Connecticut.

We were able to trick or treat last night with the children so that was a lot of fun. We have gotten pretty good at taking advantage of the time that we have together. I certainly appreciate her strength and her friendship more than I have probably ever expressed to her.

So last night, I was feeling pretty down and well - befuddled for lack of a better word. I called another friend of mine who I hadn't had a chance to catch up with all week. I have never been sorry to have called her, but last night I was. I don't know what bee she may have had in her bonnet, she never bothered to tell me what was bothering her - at least not specifically. I listened to her complain about others that we know for almost an hour - berating them and their poor treatment of her. Fine, I have no issues with that at all.

Everyone should stick up for themselves and tell it like it is when necessary. Here's the thing though, in my own opinion, I have tried to be understanding and compassionate. I really have. I certainly don't understand her life because I can't. But I try to get what I can of it. I try to be understanding and considerate, and yet last night I felt like I was being lumped in with "others". Why? Well, I guess mainly because I was the one hearing it.

I don't mind having a friend vent. That's what friends were for. But her words were sharp and irritated and when I asked what the point of all of it was - she blew out her breath at me as if I was a first class idiot. Who knows? Maybe I am, because I surely didn't see what the point of all that was except to vent for her and make me feel bad. Especially about things that I don't really have control over or that happened in the past which I already regret.

I need a bubble bath. Calgon take me away.....

I hate to think that this has cost me a friend, especially when I don't really understand what was at the root of it all. ON the other hand, if someone is angry with me, I want them to tell me why they are angry with ME. I'm not a mind reader and I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, I can be selfish. We all are. I will do a lot for my friends, but one thing I won't do, I won't be mistreated.