Faith Vs. Trust

I just finished Ombudsman training last week. Whew, what a week it was. I had training every night from 5:30- 9:30, and the topics that we discussed were so beyond anything I even anticipated. I am by no means a new Navy wife, hubby has been in for 13 years, and I have been "in" with him, for 8, (9 actually, but I feel guilty counting school time...) yet even I was surprised by how much more that I could learn.
I realized that accepting this responsibility would be a big job, but I had no idea how big. One night, our instructor came in, slammed the door and YELLED," This is an emergency, there's a submarine down, presumed LOST." That is the moment that it hit me, if the unimaginable happened, I would be one of the first people to get that call. That was a really hard pill for me to swallow.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with faith and trust. Well, it was actually my graduation ceremony from Ombudsman training that got me thinking about this. Our boat's captain was there to see me graduate, and my husband and children were there as well. After the ceremony, the Captain gave me a Commanding Officer coin with our ship's logo on it, a token for accepting this responsibility. Collecting this coins is the new "thing" around here - it's a really big deal to receive one.
My husband received a coin the same night. Now, here's what got me thinking, he received his coin for a years worth of very hard work. I received mine for what the captain believes I WILL do. It's daunting when you think about that. My husband earned his coin, I haven't yet. Our captain has every reason to trust in my husband's duty, devotion, hard work and ability. All he is going on with me is faith.
It's my job to help take care of all the families on our boat while our sailors are deployed, and knowing just a little about me, our captain put his faith in me. It's humbling. I truly hope that I will live up to his expectations and give him reason to trust in my ability, as my husband has. I hope that I will make my husband proud, but most of all, I hope that I will be able to help those that need it when the time comes.
I'm praying that won't be at 3 am to a phone call saying that something terrible has happened to our boat. Scary.

Are You Up to the Challenge?

I've been doing a lot of talking about books lately. I found what I thought was this awesome site called the 50 book challenge. It's a place where you talk about and critique the books you have read. The only thing is, the members aren't very nice. The only time they comment on your thoughts is to let you know your graphics are too large for their Dial up or to spell check you. ( Sorry, I'm a mom who does most of my writing very early in the morning, occasionally spelling mistakes happen. Ugh.)
So, since I loved the idea so much, I started a group on Cafe mom for any of you who may want to join in. The idea is to read 50 books in a year. Here's what's cool though - YOU pick the books. It can be any book you want. There isn't a length requirement. There won't be any scripted questions to "make you think" or lead a discussion on the subject matter as with other book clubs. There is only you, your choices and your thoughts on them.

I created this group because I love to read, and I love to see what others are reading. Just click on the new banner above to get to the group. One word of caution to my male members - you will be asked to join Cafemom. If you are interested in participating, and I would love to have you, I highly suggest creating a "female persona" to join as some women haven't come as long a way as they say they have. Discrimination is rampant on the Cafe against any human being that happens to have a penis. I have no such qualms.... I actually enjoy that half of the population - most of the time. :)

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Come join the 50 book challenge!

50 Book Challenge!

Books, Books and more Books!

What’s Your Favorite Book?

My friend Roe was blogging about this not to long ago. She posted this very interesting poll which was conducted to discover what the favorite book of most Americans is. Here were the results:

Harris Interactive surveyed American adults to find out "What is your favorite book of all time?" The answers:

1. The Bible
2. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell
3. Lord of the Rings (series), by J.R.R. Tolkien
4. Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling
5. The Stand, by Stephen King
6. The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown
7. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
8. Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown
9. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand
10. Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

It’s an interesting list, isn’t it? I mean what a combination of topics and titles. I was surprised to see Angels and Demons by Dan Brown on the list, I certainly didn’t think it was nearly as good as The Da Vinci Code, but to each their own. I think that it is also interesting to note that according to Zogby, the average American reads four books in a year. Can you imagine that? I could read four books in a week! I think that is such a sad commentary on our society… I

So I sat and thought about my favorite books. Where to start?? There are SO many! I don’t think that I could possibly limit it to 10. Anyway, here goes, in no particular order except for the first:
1. Lord of the Rings – the only book that was so real to me that I actually had dreams about it. I will forever be thankful to JRR Tolkien for opening my heart to the wonder of magic and fantasy.
2. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. It is a long book and detailed, but so worth the effort that it takes to read. It is particularly interesting to read Rand’s commentary on capitalism considering her own personal experiences and background.
3. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Smith’s lyric style and colorful story telling speak for themselves in this largely autobiographical work.
4. Anything by Charles Dickens, especially A Tale of Two Cities – what greater love can there be than the willingness to sacrifice oneself for the happiness of the one you love?
5. The Three Musketeers – because I love a great action/ adventure story and this one does it all. Who doesn’t love the visual of Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and Dartagnan as they cross their swords saying “ All for one and one for All!”?
6. Brave New World – I love Huxley’s story about finding humanity in the most surprising of places…
7. Harry Potter – because from start to finish the story of the “Boy Who Lived” captured me. Rowling’s story brought me into Harry’s world and I was so sorry to see it end, no matter how satisfyingly the story came to a close.
8. Fahrenheit 451 and 1984 – both offer a frightening glimpse of what the future could be if we for one instant lose sight of our precious freedom.
9. A Thousand Splendid Suns – I don’t typically like contemporary authors, but Khalid Hosseini had me at hello. Seriously, this book grips you from the first sentence and the story never stops.
10. Night by Elie Weisel – nothing can be said about this book except that every single person should read it so that we never forget.
11. Wuthering Heights – possibly the greatest love story ever told. I didn’t understand it the first time I read it. I didn’t understand why Heathcliff and Cathy couldn’t just figure it out – but sometimes, that’s the point isn’t it?

It was hard to compile this list and I’d be willing to bet that tomorrow, my choices may look very different. Again, aside from number one, these books really aren’t in any particular order, I love them all. I’d love for you to share your top 10 list, since I’m always look for the next great book to read.

Another Interesting Study... When We Say NO, They Hear Yes

So a communications professor just did some interesting ( and very unscientific) research at UC Davis. He canvased the campus asking over 1000 men and women what different phrases in their relationship meant to each of them. He spent a lot of time talking about what a man hears when a woman says no. Interestingly enough - the majority of those interviewed seemed to think that no meant - "get busy because I'm tired" or that no means " maybe, I just need a little convincing."

Some other interesting miscommunications between men and women?
She says, " I'm invovled with someone else." He hears, " I still want to hook up with you, just discreetly".
She says, " I just want to be friends". He hears, " I still want to have sex with you, just no committment."

Communication between the sexes is a minefield. I'd be the first one to admit that there is a lot going on between what a woman says and what she is also communicating on a unspoken level. That said though, my husband knows when I say, "I tired" it doesn't mean "Try harder" or "convince me" it means - "That isn't happening tonight. Period."

Why do we - women and men - read so much into what one another is saying that may or may not be there? Guys, for your own protection, if you are with a woman and she says no, assume she means NO. Any other thought on your part can lead to some very serious repurcussions. These types of studies just reflect how rare candor is in our society, especially in the dating pool.

For all you men out there, here's a translation of what a woman really means. Ladies, I think you will enjoy this too:
Nine Dangerous Words Women Use

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about Nothing. (Refer back to 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's Okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to 3.

"I'm so Tired..."

I'm so tired of hearing "I'm so tired." My husband works his ass off for his family. I know it, I understand it, and I certainly appreciate it. He works long hours and his job is very stressful sometimes. (Most of the time) I can look at his face when he comes home from work and I know that he's bushed. He doesn't need to tell me. I hate it when he tells me.

Every day I think to myself, tonight we'll do something fun together. We'll have some deep conversation. We'll have a political debate. Maybe we'll even make love.... I think of all these things that we are going to do and then.... he comes home and says, "I'm so tired." None of these things are going to happen. Why try? Especially in the love department, when my man is tired, he just needs his sleep. Anything else is going to end badly, usually with me frustrated and him hurt and upset. It just isn't worth it.

I know I shouldn't complain, but the fact is that if I'm not venting him, I'm bitching to him. I feel bad bitching to him so I just need to get it out. I'm tired of feeling deprived. I'm tired of my husband being gone for MONTHS at a time. I'm just so tired.....

Honestly, my life is wonderful in most aspects. I know my husband loves me. I have two beautiful little girls, and I feel so priviledged to be their mother. I live in a beautiful house, with a beautiful garden. My husband is even thinking about putting in a pool. Sometimes though, I just miss my partner who seems to be gone more and more of the time, even when he should be here with me, and that makes me feel really sad.

Hhmmm... Now That's Interesting. A New Meme

No, I wasn't tagged for this one, but I was looking for inspiration this morning and I definitely found it, as always in the most unlikely of places. I was perusing the blog list on The Mom Blogs and came across this meme. Here's how you play:

Rules:

- Pick your birth month.
- Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.
- Tag 12 people from your friends list.

Click here to get the list of all twelve months.

At any rate, I was reading through September, looking for those things which describe me. In all honesty, I'd love to choose only those things which are flattering but that wouldn't be truthful. Sometimes it's painful to see ourselves in a less than always favorable light, but that is the way it is. Not one of us is goodness and light 100% of the time, no matter how we strive for that.As I was reading through the list, I definitely saw myself but even stranger, I also saw my husband who is also born in September. So a twist on the meme for those of you who choose to do it, also look at your mates month and see if you recognize him or her. I am bolding those things that are like me and italicizing those things that are like him.


SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

It's strange really to see ourselves in this manner. It begs the question of exactly how our star sun and our sun sign influences our nature. For those that may not know, your star sign is your astrological sign, in my case, Libra. Your sun sign is the position of the sun at the time of your birth, in my case Aries. No, I don't think that our lives are totally predetermined, but I do think that this things can and do influence who we are. Just like I believe that dates and names - especially our chosen name - can influence who we ultimately become.

So give it and try and see if you can see yourself. Everyone reading this - consider yourself tagged. Please leave me a comment to let me know that you have written about this, so I can visit your blog and see what truths may have been revealed to you.