Oh Peggie, What did you Start??

The other day, my friend Peggie blogged about how her little girl is becoming a young woman. He daughter found some "bumps" on her chest. Guess what they were? You guessed it, the beginning of boobs!! Her daughter and Sporty are very close in age, but as I read her post, I found myself breathing a sigh of relief. "That's a long way off for me!"

Yeah, right. Literally, the very next day, my daughter came to me and said, "Mom, I'm having a problem. I found this bump on my chest and it's a little uncomfortable when I press on it." Guess what it was? Yes, you guessed it, the beginning of BOOBS!!! HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN????? Just yesterday my baby was a newborn and now she's getting boobs??? I'm WAY to young for this! I shouldn't have a daughter with booblets - as she calls them.

I told my daughter not to worry and explained to her that her body is changing, this is all perfectly normal. Then she asks if her boobs will be as big as mine! Someone please - get me a martini - QUICK! ( I realize that mine are Fabulous - but she's only 9!) I told her that it will take a while for her body to change. She said, "First my glasses, now this! What's next???" If only she knew..... With an acute case of Bronchitis, yesterday was not the day to answer that question.

So today, I girded myself with the BIBLE for all those seeking to answer these questions: "Are you there God? It's me, Margaret." I had it airmailed. Please, Judy Blume, SAVE ME!!!!!

Who I Was vs. Who I Am

It's funny how throughtout our lives, some things change and some things remain the same. My dad was recently here for a visit. Often, he likes to talk about events, often terrible events, that happened in my past. I hate these little walks down memory lane for many reasons. Primarily I dislike them because: 1. no one likes to be constantly reminded of their mistakes and 2. I'm just not that person anymore.

It's almost as if my life now began at 25. That was the year that my husband and I met. I have grown and changed so much in my life in the 12 years since then, that in many ways, I am almost unrecognizable, even to myself. I hate being compared to the person that I used to be - a person that I'm ashamed of. It bothers me when people who are close to me, especially my dad, sometimes can't seem to notice the difference.

I was painfully shy as a child and this reserve was often misunderstood as aloofness. I hated ( and still do!) loud noises and had difficulty joining in overly affectionate or boisterous situations. I my head and in my heart, I knew what it was when I saw something happening that I believed to be wrong, but standing up and saying something was completely out of the question. I lived my life in books, often preferring their company to that of real people. I guess in some ways that still holds true.

When I met my husband, even when we were just friends, I guess I really was like that flower just waiting to spread my petals and blossom. I believe that I came into my own. Sure, I still have those moments of being shy or reserved, but they are fewer and fewer. Often I am the first among my friends to share my feelings and encourage others to do so. I want to BE the person that I see in my husband's eyes. I want to BE the mother that my children can be proud of.

Yes, I still have a long one to go and many more life lessons to learn. But at least now, when I look in the mirrior, for the most part, I like the woman I see.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

All through the insanity of the holidays, I found myself thinking," It will be nice to get back to normal." Well, I'm not sure about normal per se - after all, whose life is really normal - but in our family we are at least back to reality.

My daughters returned to school yesterday. It was wonderful having them home and spending time together, but they were both ready to go back. They missed their friends. Last night I was regaled with stories about who got what for the holiday, who they played with, who the new best friends are and what they are learning in school. I live for those moments where my daughters really share their lives with me. I love hearing their stories and gaining insight both into the people that they are, and the young women that, at least my oldest, is becoming. My youngest - Tidbit - is still too little to be a young woman.
Funny story about Tidbit though. As I was walking her into school yesterday, she looked up at me with those big, brown eyes of hers and said, " You know mom, when I go to Kindergarten and Big Girl School, I'm going to need a new backpack." I said, "Ok honey, we can get you a new backpack for Kindergarten." She replies, "Ok, so maybe we should do that tonight so that I will be ready for Big Girl School tomorrow..." As we jumped into the puddles together I said, "Let's not rush being big Girls". She just smiled and said " Ok Mom." I know that long before I am ready, my little Tidbit will be off to be a Big Girl and I don't mean to elementary school either. Time flies.

My husband also went back to reality. He went back to work today. It has been absolute heaven having him home with me every day for the last ten days. Unlike the girls, he wasn't ready to go back. Last night he shared that he has been worried about so many things: work, his NASA application, selling our house when the time comes, time away from the girls and I, all the things that he misses.... We were talking about our oldest daughter, Little Bit. He asked why I had given her my old scarf. I said, "Well, she hates pink and it is all I can do to get her to wear her scarf because it's pink. Now that she has the blue one - problem solved." He said, " I didn't know she had an aversion to pink. When did that happen? It used to be her favorite color." I didn't have the heart to tell him that it had been well over a year since my daughter has refused to wear anything pink. He misses so much.

So, now that the holidays are over, we may not be back to "normal" but we are back to reality.

Saying Goodbye - Again....

This is my daughter (in the center) with her two best friends. They have been the best of friends since the girls were 2 and a half and the boy was 4. Their mom is also my best friend. We met their family by chance - and maybe a little divine intervention. They were on the same boat as our family years ago, when we lived in Georgia. My daughter and I received an invitation to a Valentine's day party, but we were unable to go because she was sick. When I called to give our regrets, I asked if we could schedule a playdate when she was feeling better. That was one of the best things that I have ever done. They came over - the children were like peas in a pod from the beginning and so were Jennifer and I. The rest - as they say - is history.
Jennifer and I have been best friends since and so have our children. We have been through illness, broken bones (Jenn, if you are reading this, I'm knocking on some wood!), 4 submarine patrols, 2 moves and so much more.
When we moved from Georgia, the only thing that I regretted was saying goodbye. It was so hard! I had just had a baby - well, she was 8 months old by then. Jenn was pregnant with their youngest. We both got through that move though because we knew that their family wouldn't be in Georgia too much longer either. We moved to Annapolis, and they moved to Connecticut.
Through it all we kept in touch. We visited several times. Kaylee and I went to Connecticut to meet their new baby, they came and visited for Emily's birthday. I even got to have Isabella for a week in the summer - that's the beautiful blonde in the picture above.
Finally it happened that it was time for us to move again and we got orders to Connecticut! We were over the moon!!! I knew that my daughters would love being near their friends again. We have had weekly playdates, sleepovers where Jennifer and I were able to keep up with our passion of scrapbooking, birthday parties, trick or treating... you name it.
Their family is Navy, like ours. We knew that the time would eventually come when one of us would have to relocate again, I guess I just hoped that it wouldn't happen so soon. We had only been here a few months when we heard that they would be moving.
We made the most of all of our time together, but unfortunately, the time finally came where we would have to say goodbye. I finally understand why the Navy came up with the lame saying of " fair winds and a following sea" because saying goodbye to the people you love over and over again is just too painful otherwise.
I knew that saying goodbye to Jenn would be hard. I knew that kissing Isabella for the last time ( for a while anyway) would rip my heart out. I knew hugging little Ana goodbye and missing out on so much of her growing up would be hard. What I wasn't prepared for was saying goodbye to Andrew.
I thought we would make it through it ok. I thought we could joke and laugh and it would be alright. I was so proud of how well I was handling the goodbying when it came time to say goodbye to him. He put his arms around me and the tears started to come for both of us. Then, he whispered in my ear, " Ms. Laurie, I love you and I will NEVER forget you." Even thinking about it now makes me cry. We made plans RIGHT THEN to see them next year. Until then, we will write, e-mail, call, share pictures....
People come in and out of our lives. Some stay a short time, some are friends forever, but all impact our lives. I know that their family and ours will be friends forever. I know that I didn't truly just say goodbye because we will see them again. Still, it was one of the hardest things I have ever done - cheerily waving goodbye....