Sunday Feature - The Search for Quan

Did you see that movie Jerry McGuire? I love that movie. I hate Tom Cruise, but I still love that movie. The idea of Quan comes from there - it is an idea espoused by Cuba Gooding Jr.'s character that means a complete happiness. Perfection. A friend of mine started doing a weekly feature on her blog about cooking and that gave me an idea. I am going to do a weekly feature too. The Sunday search for Quan. Who's with me? I want to be my own ambassador of Quan.

I started a month ago with my World According to Snowflake, though I just didn't know then that I was on a larger quest. What makes me happy? This is going to be a weekly query and maybe, just maybe, some of the things that work for me will also work for you.

One thing I know is true - happiness is a state of mind. Things can not give it to you ( though they can make life easier) Money can't buy it, no matter how much money you have ( though like the above statement, having enough money for necessities also makes life easier.) Finally, and I think this is most important, no one else can make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

The most simplistic advice I have is that happiness is a decision. We all have a choice every day. My mother always told me to find the joy in everyday. I really try to do that. Today spending one on one time with my oldest daughter brought me joy. The sense of purpose that going to school or working with the children at the school gives me is something that has also enhanced my daily joy factor. I love the way my blanket smells just out of the wash and these are just a few things that bring me joy - small, every day things.

The biggest thing that I have done in my life lately that I know has increased my happiness factor? I have limited how much news that I watch. It's never good news. The world is coming to an end every night, or some baby was killed by their mother, it's always something tragic. I remember when I was watching the news, I would step out of my house, look up at the sky and expect to see it falling. I always wondered why it wasn't? I do stay informed. I read the news - online for a large variety of sources, but I don't watch the news anymore and it has definitely been a change for the better as far as my state of mind is concerned.

Turn in next weekend to join me in my continued search for Quan.

The World According to Snowflake

I just started reading this really cool book called "The Happiness Project". Usually I would blog about this at my other blog It's a Book Thing but what I wanted to talk about isn't specifically about the book, but rather my own outlook on life.
The author of the book is working on maximizing her own happiness in her life and part of this is coming up with areas of her life that she wanted to improve and basically boiling down her life philosophy. She said that in order to embark on her own happiness project, she really needed to review her "Ten Commandments."
I have issues with considering my philosophies of life as commandments, so I will refrain from referring to them as such. Still, I definitely have a code that I do try to live by and it is my firm belief that everyone benefits when they write out or articulate their core beliefs.
Here are some of mine, in no particular order:

1. You can't wait for happiness to find you, you have to make your own happiness.
2. Barbie was meant to be plastic, not people.
3. Don't just stop to smell the flowers, actually get your hands dirty and plant some.
4.You will never "find" the time, but if something is really important, you can find ways to make the time.
5. Appreciate the ordinary because it happens way more than the extraordinary.
6.Have a plan and when life messes with your plan, be ready to go to plan B, C, D, and even ZZZ if necessary.
7.Surround yourself with people who have traits that you admire and would like to cultivate.
8. There is little that a good book can't fix.
9. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, so don't be insane. Just run little penguin run!
10. We are stewards of the world around us, not the owners of it. It is our responsibility to teach our children and try to leave the world a better place for all the creatures that share it.
11. Compromise when you are able and for those things that really matter, be prepared to kick ass and take names.
Live your life.

I'm working on my own happiness project. This is just the beginning. Surprisingly next will be formulating a plan to identify areas in my life that I would like to improve to maximize my own happiness quotient and hopefully that of my loved ones as well. More to follow....

An Experiment in Gratitude

I have lost my way. I usually have a pretty sunny outlook on life, but lately I find myself floundering. It's difficult to even write because all my stories end the same way. In an effort to shock my system out of it's current emotional paralysis, I am going to do a gratitude experiemnt.
Usually every November I pick one thing a day that I am thankful for. I realize now that it doesn't have to be the month of Thanksgiving to have a grateful heart. I know that when I appreciate my loved ones and all the good things in my life that I am a happier person.
I usually spend my nights as I go to sleep thanking God for all the wonders that he has bestowed. Lately I haven't had much to say to Him. I am either too tired, too lost or just don't know where to start. So here is my experiment. I am starting here. For the next thirty days, I am going to blog about something that I am thankful for. Doesn't sound too hard, right? Here's the hitch though - it can't be the usual, "I'm thankful for my family, I'm thankful for my home" type of stuff. It has to be those small things that you really have to look for in life in order to be truly grateful for them.

Today I am thankful for dovelings. I don't know if that is what baby doves are called, but it is what we call them here in our house. Two years ago, a female dove was hurt nearby. She came, with her mate, to live in our flower garden. She spent the summer here resting and every day he would come with food and watched over her. She was hurt and could not fly. The spent the summer with us, much to the delight of both my children. As the weather got cooler, we wondered what would happen to them. Then, one day, she finally spread her wings and flew away. It was sad and wonderful all at the same time. Sad because we would miss our friends, but happy because, like all birds we knew that they would be happier in warmer climes than wintering here in CT.

As the harsh winter passed and spring came again, we were overjoyed to note that our friends had returned, and this time, something even more wonderful was about to happen. This time, the female had built a NEST. We knew it wouldn't be long before she became a Momma Dove and welcomed new little ones into the world. They say that it's a lucky thing to have doves - that it's a sign of happiness and contentment. Either way, I know that watching her, seeing her babies ( two years running now) and hearing her coo make me feel both happy and content.

I am thankful that she felt so safe and at ease here with us that she choose our yard and our home as a place to raise her own family. I watch for her babies with a vigilence second only to Momma Dove herself. The children know in spring that they can not play in the front flower beds and of course, our puppy is kept well in hand lest he accidentally harm one of the babies. I hope that Momma Dove and her mate will return with their children for many years to come.

What Is It About Them That Makes Us So Happy?

The bluebird... they say that those who see one will find true happiness. But what is it about the bluebird that makes those who see it feel such joy? And where can one find one? It just so happens that I know the answer, at least to the latter...

You see bluebirds can often be found in the most unlikely of places, and quite often, they are much closer than you think. I have a family of about four bluebirds that live outside our house, in our backyard. We have some beautiful trees back there, where they have quite happily built a nest. There is plenty of food in the local area for them, so it is a fortutitious arrangement -both for the bluebirds and for us.

My children love to see the bluebirds. I often tell them the stories of bluebirds bringing happiness, and in my opinion, having them right outside our home, only proves all the old wives tales to be true. I don't know how any person that is ever lucky enough to see a bluebird could not experience true joy in their heart.

Just looking at them brings a smile, and you feel the happiness building up inside. It's impossible to not realize that Spring is finally here, if there is a bluebird outside my window. They, along with the daffodils are the true harbingers of the season.

I wish that I could catch one of those that live near us on film, and perhaps one day I will, but until then,this picture will have to do. I am wishing all of you, my friends, all the joy that the bluebird brings.

In Honor of the Happiest Days of my Life

I woke up slowly, and as my eyes fluttered open, I could feel gentle rays of sunshine streaming on my face. As I become conscious, I could feel my baby moving inside me, greeting the dawn with me. I had such a sense of peace and contentment. As I stretched, I turned and reached for the man beside me. He was so handsome just laying there still asleep. He looked so peaceful. I remember his smile as he greeted me - warmer than the sun.

We spent the day together - contrary to popular opinion that the bride and groom should not see one another until the ceremony. That wasn't until 6 pm that night, and we didn't' want to be apart that long. At least, I know I didn't.

We had to pick up the flowers and the cake, we basically did the wedding ourselves. We got married at his sisters house - in her gazebo. It really was lovely. My mother in law handled the decor - sunflowers ( at my request) ribbon, etc.... My dress was white - but very free flowing and gypsy like. ( At 8 months along, it sort of had to be!)

I don't think I will ever forget walking down the stairs with my step-dad. I was so nervous. Then, I looked up, and I saw him standing there waiting for me and I knew, I just KNEW, that no matter what, everything was going to be alright. I'll never forget looking into those gorgeous eyes of his as I said my vows, and quietly listening as he said his. I felt the weight of the wedding band as he slipped it on my finger. When he kissed me, I knew it was going to be forever.

So, from now until eternity, March 11th will forever be the happiest day of my life. It is the day upon which, every other moment of happiness in my adult life depends. Without my husband, I wouldn't' have my beautiful daughters, this life we have worked so hard to build together. None of it would be possible.

So, true to my commitment - here are 10 things that I am thankful for today:
1. My husband's slow, sweet smile.
2. My husband's beautiful eyes that you can just drown in.
3. His sweet, gentle and generous manner.
4. I'm thankful for my lucky stars that were shining on the day that he said he loved me.
5. I'm thankful for our beautiful children.
6. I'm thankful for our wonderful home.
7. I thankful for the life that we have worked so hard to build - together.
8. I'm thankful for the way he makes me feel - still giddy after all these years - he can still make me blush with just a look.
9. I'm thankful that I have a partner that I can depend on and who believes in me.
10. I' m so thankful for the 9 years we have had together and I am thankful for the hope of many more.

HE'S HOME!!!!

I don't think I have ever been so happy to fall into my husband's arms as I was yesterday. It was a huge surprise. They weren't supposed to be home yet. Then, on Saturday morning came the surprise news and my heart just leaped for joy!!! I am so thankful and so happy to have him home!
I drove with the girls to lower base to pick him up. I saw him walking toward me, I knew right away, even without seeing his face, that it was him. I love that thrill I feel when I see his face and I love feeling like I hang on his every word and he on mine. I love that even though he has been gone so long, it feels like not an instant has passed since last his eyes met mine. I love how when we talk together everything, even stupid things, sound like a secret just for us.
Right now I feel like I have to rush to get all the I love you's out.... I have to tell him everything and get him to tell me everything... because too soon, it will all be over. This will be just a dream that I had as I wake up, crying in the bed alone.
But for now, it's such a beautiful dream and I don't want to wake up yet. For now, I will take the time I have, savor every single second because I know it's a finite period of time.
Realistically I know that we all have only a finite period of time, but can you imagine that being your constant reality? Every second, every moment, is over way too fast. I wish I could just hold on, make the moments last, hold back the dawn.... but I can't.
For now, I'll be happy for today and happy for the hope of that tomorrow when he'll be back forever. No more Navy. No more mission. Just us. Someday....