Friday, December 23, 2011

The Best Christmas Present Ever

December 21 is my Father's birthday - the Winter Solstice. It's been almost three years since he' s been gone and I still miss him everyday. My Christmas story relates to my dad because I know he's watching me, with me still, interceding for me and helping to guide my steps.
Some of you may know that my husband was recently diagnosed with Celiac's disease. It's been a struggle for him and even on a gluten free diet, the symptoms are not completely resolved. Neither of us were really convinced by his diagnosis and on Wednesday, my father's birthday, we went to see a specialist at Bethesda. The specialist wasn't convinced by the diagnosis either. I feel vindicated that, while my husband may indeed have Celiac's, we aren't crazy. The criteria used to determine the diagnosis were sketchy at best. They took a blood sample to do a complete work up, including a genetic marker test to see if my husband has the predisposition for the disease. If he doesn't, well, it's back to square one to see what is really wrong with him. If he does have the marker, that still doesn't mean he has Celiac's but just a chance to have it. I have been praying like crazy that, one way or another, we will have a definitive diagnosis so that we can wrap our head around it and make the best decisions for my husband's future health. I am so grateful to God that He is helping us through this process. I love my husband and wnat him with me for a long time. In the meantime, he has been cleared to eat gluten which means stuffing and pizelles on Christmas!

On another note, a second Christmas gift that has come my way this year, I had a job interview last week. Most of my readers know that I have been unemployed since we moved here to Annapolis in July. I miss my students like crazy and while I am volunteering and tutoring, it's just not the same. The day of the interview came and I was so nervous. When I arrived, I saw the interviewee before me leave the office. When I left, I saw the next interviewee go in. I really didn't feel confidant about my chances. After all, I had sent my resume in so many times to have no response at all. Well, yesterday, one day after my Dad's birthday, I got the call.... and I got the job! New students to love and nurture starting on the 3rd day of the new year! I know my Dad is still up there watching out for me, guiding my path as he always did when he was still here with me.

So the greatest gift is the reminder that those we love are never truly gone because after all, love lives on. I love you Daddy....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Stop Obsessing!

I have several acquaintances who have been really freaked out about their age and their birthdays this year. Wrinkles freak me out- occasionally - grey hairs are something not to be tolerated - by me at any rate. But birthdays? That's just another day.

I have never fixated on a particular birthday and I hope I never do. I just turned 41 this past September, but it really doesn't matter. I don't feel it. In my head and in my heart, I still feel 18. The only difference is that I get the benefit of having my children, who are amazingly cool individuals, but they wouldn't have been so much fun at 18. I live my life everyday. I try to live it to the fullest and find something amazing. This morning it was a milky white moon on a cerulean blue sky and the way the frost crystals formed on the fallen leaves. It was my daughter's wonder and joy in life that is so contagious. Some days are good and others are shit, but if you look, there is always something miraculous.

Don't fixate and waste it on something as stupid as age. It's just a number and age is all an attitude anyway. If you act old, it doesn't matter if your twenty but being young at heart is forever.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Footsteps on the Moon

Ever since we moved, I have been looking for a job. Not surprising in this economy, i would say. So, until I get a regular gig, I am working as a private tutor. My students mean too much for me to just sit and wait for a classroom opportunity.
I have been working with a darling little boy. Very precocious. As a student, he works hard and applies himself. Sure he sometimes needs the gentle reminder to stay on task, but I'm a grown adult and even I sometimes need that. I have been working with him, once a week, since beginning of October. He was a C student to start. Now, due to his hard work, he is earning A's. His teacher told his parents that she was sorry they got a tutor, that he was an average student. What does that even mean?
Does that mean he has average ability and above average desire to succeed? What does average mean to a third grader? Our course in life is not set by the time we are 8 and those people who are entrusted with our children should always teach and encourage them to aim as high as they can dream. One of my favorite quotes is "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon". That's the way I feel about my student. I'm proud of his hard work and accomplishment. To me, he is anything but average.