Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Today was a busy day. I am gearing up for sending my daughters off to school tomorrow. I can't believe that the start of school is finally here. NOw I just have the baby puppy to contend with. Still, he's so cute it is more of a joy than a chore - most of the time anyway.

It was a busy day with work. I am trying to collect mail to get to our sailors. It is no small logistical feat collecting all the mail, organizing it and then getting it where it needs to go. Still, small chores like this one make me happy because I know how much those letters from home mean to our sailors.

I heard from a good friend today which is always such a welcome thing. It was so nice to catch up with her, I just wish that we had more pleasant things to talk about. Instead, we were dealing with "Sybil", the multiple personality wonder. Nope, there are about a million and one things that I would rather have talked about.

I received an e-mail from my husband today - the first in several long weeks. It wasn't much of a letter, but at least I know he is ok and thinking of us. He actually said, " I look forward to seeing you when time permits..." I nearly keeled over I was laughing so hard. I mean really? When in the near future does he think that is going to happen? I guess it isn't at all funny, it's just that if I weren't laughing I'd be crying.

Look for some back to school pictures of Posh and Sporty tomorrow.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Finally Home!

God, it feels so good to be home! After thirteen hours, a hellacious experience with the rental car, and now an incurable case of insomnia - it is just so damn good to be home. I pulled into the driveway and saw my house - still standing there - waiting like a beacon. I walked in the door and thankfully, other than the situations I deal with every day, there were no calamities waiting for me.
I know that tomorrow I will pay the price for being up tonight blogging. My dad is here and I adore him, but he requires a lot of attention and care. He isn't doing so well. He is very unsteady on his feet and it really scares me. I'm not sure what I can do for him other than make him as comfortable as possible.
Tomorrow the insanity of laundry, grocery shopping and every day life begins again.

Thankfully there is some bullshit that I don't have to deal with right away. Though sometimes, I'm not quite sure that is a good thing. I have one situation hanging over me like a storm cloud just waiting to break. I remain unsure of how I am going to deal with it - delicately of course, but other than that I am debating over the best course of action. Confronting people is never fun, and while I hope for a positive outcome, one is not really expected.

Oh well, it's just so good to be back!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

"Dolts" and Other Nice Compliments

You know what I really hate? I really hate it when some people go around acting so superior when in fact, they are so involved in their own life that they can't see the forest for the trees. I'm sick of it, and I'm not just going to sit around and take it anymore.
I have a group on a social networking site that is supposed to be a place that people can share the ups and downs of their life - THEIR life - THEIR reality. Every member there should be free to share, but lately, I have felt ham stringed by certain member/members. Reality only applies to them and anyone who inadvertently offends them with their own reality is a dolt.
I think being a dolt is being so wrapped up in yourself that you can't understand that people will have differing perceptions about various topics. I think being a dolt means that you feel the need to verbally "bitch slap" anyone who you don't think has it as bad as you do.
Certainly an occasional dose of a different reality can make people more tolerant. I know that I have learned a lot in the past two years, and I apply that knowledge in my everyday relationships with people. I know that I am more careful about the things that I say around this particular group of people because - heaven forbid - you never know when you are going to offend someone with some comment about how you are feeling. And no, everyone isn't free to share, we are all just free to share on certain subjects but others are sacrosanct -if you share on THOSE subjects, you are labeled ungrateful, non -compassionate , or as just recently happened, a DOLT.
Can you tell I'm a little pissed? Good, because I am. I have always welcomed everyone to say what they have to say, and being a Libra, I have restrained myself in the name of "getting along" - well, those days are over. If I have something to say, I'm going to say it - whatever it is, no matter who it may offend because I'm tired of getting shit on when the shoe is on the other foot. So look out ladies, the gloves are officially off.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The More Things Change.... The More They Stay the Same

All my life, my relationship with my sisters can best be labeled "strained". I have two older sisters, who happen to be identical twins. They are five years older than me, blonde, hair, blue eyes, Christy Brinkley look alikes. Scary. It was a lot to live up to, being their sister, and somehow, I never quite measured up.
I guess at some point I stopped trying and became the "antithesis" to all things that they were or that I thought they were. Neither seeking acceptance or pretending that I didn't care about it was a very good course of action for me.
Finally, as I grew into my own, I stopped caring what others thought, stopped overtly seeking approval and learned to live for myself.
Or so I thought. Fast track to this past week with my sister.... It's amazing how quickly I feel myself sinking back into the same habits, the same thought patterns, the same need for approval. It sort of sickens me really how, even now, approval is something that I would like to have. i thought I was beyond all this. I guess some things never change.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Tick Tock....

The girls and I made it safely to Pennsylvania. My mom was so right about the business class on the train. It was roomy and very comfortable. The girls were absolute angels. They were better than most adults on the train, no kidding.
You know, I hadn't realized how much I needed to slow down and take a break. Unfortunately, in conjunction with "slowing down", I have also realized just how much time is left and how slow time is actually moving. I miss my husband. I hate having him away from me. Still, the girls and I go on and do the best we can.
We have some fun events planned for while we are here. On Sunday, we are going on teh Gateway Clipper. That's a river boat cruise that tours the Three Rivers here in Pittsburgh. It is a Sundae on Sunday cruise ( Make your own sundae's...) so you know the kids are going to love it!
I finally relieved the stress of how we are going to get home so that is a really good thing. I have been wound so tight, it's amazing when it actually sat down and took time to realize it.
I knew that being out of my realm of control was going to be a rael challenge for me, but even I didn't realize just how much. I have my hands in too many cookie jars. I told my husband that my goal while he was gone was to stay as busy as possible while he was gone, and fall in bed exhausted every night. Mission accomplished at home, but it is all catching up with me here.
Tomorrow my sister and nephews arrive... who knows what their arrival will bring...