Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Year in Review

It's hard to believe that in just a few short days, a new year will have begun. In some ways 2008 just crawled by, and in others, well it seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the birth of this year. So now, I sit here and reflect on what has transpired in the last year. I have been journaling less here, so I thought that some of my friends would be interested in seeing what has been going on in my life.

January - I made the momentous decision to really get serious about losing weight. I'm fat. Period. There is no way to say it nicely so I won't sugar coat it for you or for myself. I made a plan to exercise three times a week and to eat healthier. I am very proud to say that I lived up to that plan.

February - my husband was gone - AGAIN. Needless to say, I am still boycotting Valentines Day. Ugh. I did have an awesome craft party for my little girls though that they just loved and my dad came to visit. All in all, not a bad February...

March - I survived a visit from my MIL, do I really need to say more?? My husband and I also attended the Submarine Birthday Ball. That was a lot of fun!

April - my oldest turned nine. NINE! how the heck did that happen. Worst of all, she tells me every day that she is halfway to an adult!!!!

In May, I graduated from Ombudsman Basic Training - for those of you not in the military - an Ombudsman in the liasion between the Command and the Families left behind.

In June my husband deployed.... AGAIN.

In July, our best friends from Georgia came up for a visit. It was a welcome diversion for all of us!

In August, my youngest, my baby, celebrated her 5th birthday! How the hell did that happen?? Seems like yesterday she was a newborn and now, she's growing by leaps and bounds!

In August, we also added to our family by one. My furry baby, Seamus, has brought so much joy to all our lives!

In September, both of my daughters went off to school. Sporty is in the Fourth grade now! And my little Posh? Well, she started Kindergarten...

October saw me rocking Halway Night 1950's style. Our boat went to the North Pole to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the USS Nautilus being the first submarine to surface there.

My girls love the fall... especially Halloween!

November brough my mom, Thanksgiving and, best of all, a reunion with my husband in Hawaii!!!!

December saw Christmas come a week early for my family!

The end of the year finds me 25 pounds lighter than the beginning of the year did!

My plan for the new year? Enjoy my family, exercise four times a week, eat healthy and lose an additional 35 pounds!

I'd love to see what all my friends have been up to this past year. If you get a chance, please post your own year in review journal with pics! Happy New Year everyone!!!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Course Adjustments

So I hate using Navigation terminology, but in this case, it fits. Those of you that are in the military will understand what I am talking about - reintergrating your loved one back into your life after they have been gone for so long. It's difficult to say the least.
At first of course, you are so blissfully happy that you go through a honeymoon like phase. Everything is right in the world, everyone is happy and the sex is both frequent and fabulous. Like I said - a honeymoon.
After that though, reality comes back in and often in the most unexpected ways. It started when he was looking for his tools. My step father had been here and helped me fix the garage door that has been in need of attention for three years now. It finally got done but in the process a tool was waylaid. Ok, so we look for the tools, which then becomes an interogation of me and a search of our house. It wasn't comfortable and while I don't mind helping find something that I probably misplaced, I do mind the Spanish Inquisition that goes along with it. Ugh.
It has also been difficult for my husband to adjust to our new family member. How anyone could not adore our little furry puppy at first sight, is of course, totally beyond me. Still, it's an issue. The other night we are at dinner. Sporty share the fact that Ms. Lea's other dog is having puppies. My sweet and loving husband goes Manson on her and yells at her, in the restaurant, "If you ever, EVER, EVER!!!! get another dog they will both be out on the street!" Wow. Then he proceeds to lay into me about getting the dog and how wrong it was. He has a point, I know. Still, if he had given me any inclination that he would even CONSIDER a dog, I would not have done it. I just don't think it is fair that the Navy should put a permanent veto on my children having a dog. Period. Now it hasn't.
What gets me the most about this whole episode is that not once, from the time that I told him about the dog until now, has he ever honestly expressed his feelings. I expected his anger - earlier but he came home and acted like he was blissfully happy and that everything was normal -which all turned out to be a lie. I am also unhappy that he chose to air his dissatisfaction with me in front of my children instead of it being a private discussion between us. That wasn't right.
Now I feel like I don't know what is true and what isn't. I don't know how he really feels about anything because if that is a lie, what else is he just not telling me? I just don't know.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

We Wish You A Merry Christmas!

Click to play Holiday Greetings
Create your own greeting - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox greeting

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The trees

Did you know that you can see your whole life passing in the leaves of a tree? It's true. I have watched the leaves for so many months now... waiting for the changes that I knew would eventually come.
When my husband left, the trees were full. They were in the first blush of summer. The branches were thick with the dappled shades of green. Here in Connecticut, the trees are so lush that often they form a canopy over the road. It's a welcome respite from the summer sun. So many days I drove down the road wondering when I would get the first colors of fall....
Until, one day, it happened. The cool autumn wind brought the trees to life. Their colors blazed across the forest. Some of the trees were purple, some red, orange, yellow and some remained green. The orange is always my favorite and I think the rarest of all colors. Fall is my favorite season because I love to watch the trees dress up in all their finery. Still, this year, I rushed the season instead of drinking it all slowly in as I usually do. I was waiting for the hush of winter....
Eventually the wind got colder and the leaves began to Fall. I waited for the bare branches with baited breath because I knew that with the chill of winter, my heart would finally have it's summer back.
My husband has been gone for six long months. I have watched a lifetime in the leaves of the trees waiting for his return. Christmas came early for me this year and finally... Santa did bring me what I wanted for Christmas:

Friday, December 12, 2008


Click to play 719
Create your own slideshow - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox slideshow

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

It's Been a While

It's amazing how in the blink of an eye, your whole life can change. I haven't been around much lately... there have been a few things going on in my life. Approximately three weeks ago, my mom and I were driving down the round on our way to the gym.
We were chatting and having the normal day. We had our day all planned out, right down to what we were going to order from Subway for lunch. All of a sudden, on the road ahead, I see a blue car fish taling out of control. I said to my mom, "Oh my God, look at him..." and by the time I had that sentence out, he had hit us - head on. I did my best to try to avoid him, all to no avail.
In the blink of an eye my whole life had changed. My car was gone. My mom was hurt. I'm just thankful that somehow we both managed to make it through the accident with our lives. In an instant, my children could have been motherless, all because some asshole wanted to drink and drive - at NOON.
Thank God I was driving an SUV. My Hyundai did exactly what it was built to do. It probably saved my life. Now that I am looking for a new car, I'd like another Hyundai.
I have never been in a ambulance before. I guess I was in shock. I can remember people scrambling all around, firemen saying things to me - I could see their lips moving but not quite make out what they were saying. The ambulance ride was almost as terrifying as the accident itself. I hate feeling out of control and nohthing is as helpless as being strapped on a board with a huge neckbrace on so that you can't move while someone else drives.
These life altering moments really bring real life into perspective though. This year, I am accutely aware of what is really important in my life. I am thankful that my mom and I both walked away from the accident. I am thankful to be with my family and my children. I am thankful for my LIFE. Situations like this are a reminder that we are all one second away from the end. Every time we say good bye to a loved one could be the last. We don't have any guarantees. I'm going to make sure my loved ones always know I love them because I don't want my last words to be harsh ones. I am going to live every day like it could be my last because that truly is the reality.