Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I'll Take Care of You....

Just those few words, said at just the right time, meant so much to me. Usually my husband is that guy - the quiet one that thinks so hard you can actually see the wheels turning. He has never been particularly locuitious, but lately I have noticed a concerted effort on his part to be more verbal.

Have you ever read that book, "The Five Love Languages"? It's awesome and when I read it, my eyes were opened in so many ways. Everyone has a preferred way that they show love and everyone has a preferred manner in which they desire to be shown love. Words are such a huge part of my life that I am sure that it won't surprise anyone to know that words of affirmation are the way that I prefer to be shown love.

The past couple of days, I have really noticed a change in my husband. I haven't mentioned it to him- yet - but I plan too. He told me that he liked my nightgown the other night. GASP! He notices what I wear, but he never mentions it. He told me that my hair was beautiful - made me look like a movie star. HUH? What happened to my husband and who is this that has been left in his place? Never mind, I love the change!

Finally, we were driving down the road the other day. Due to a car accident when I was younger, certain conditions, particularly wet roads, make me very nervous. He noticed me bracing and getting uncomfortable when he reached over, held my hand and said, "Don't worry, I'll take good care of you..." Those words meant everything to me. The truth is, I know he will, he always has, but to hear him say it reassured me in a way that I didn't think was possible.

Yeah, I think he's a keeper.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

I promised you an update!

Well, if you have been reading along, you will know that hubby and I headed off to a bed and breakfast this weekend. We have been back for several days but my daughters have been so consumed by playing on webkinz world that I have had limited access to the computer. GRRRRR.....

The house we stayed in, Another Second Penny Inn, was built in 1780. The house still has some of the original wood and beaming. We had a beautiful room with a fireplace and a whirlpool tub. One thing I really miss in our new home is not having a fireplace, so we really enjoyed being able to have a fire. It was also nice because Sunday night was the coldest night of the winter so far, so the fire made our room nice and cozy.

The Innkeepers - Sandra and Jim- who are just FABULOUS! - made snacks for us and stocked our room with water, cocoa, coffee, and anything else we may want! Sandra made these sinfully delicious cookies out of five ingredients ( flour, coconut, brown sugar, butter, and oats) They are the most delicious cookies and she was kind enough to give me the recipe. I am so excited about that! They also cooked an absolutely fabulous breakfast that we were served in the house's formal dining room. Our breakfast consisted of: lemon coconut muffins, grapefruit and citrus compote, egg and crab scramble, fresh juice, fresh coffee and home made sorbet. It was to die for!

Robbie and I loved the whirlpool tub but it was really quite the experience. The bubbles were - let's just say - vigorous. It was nice to soak in the tub together - with the bubbles off.... We had a wonderful weekend and it was just nice to be able to reconnect and spend some couple time without our children. I promised you all some more pictures of the room, so here they are. Most are of the bathroom because it was just so HUGE! ( Did I mention the SPA robes? Yeah, LOVED that!)

Our fireplace:

The Tubby:

If you are ever in this area and looking for a place to stay, Another Second Penny really was a wonderful experience!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Where does she come up with this stuff?

So, you ladies that have been reading along know that my hubby and I are headed off to our romantic retreat tomorrow. So excited about our trip to the B&B!!! My mom is here, staying with the girls and I'm not sure who is more excited - me or them! At any rate, I e-mailed my MIL to let her know that we would not be here tomorrow. She tends to call on the weekend and I didn't want her to worry if we weren't here. Additionally, she tends to get a little jealous of my mom ( I don't know why and I wish it wouldn't happen) so I just thought it was better to head this potential problem off at the pass.

You know what they say - out of the frying pan and into the fire. Ugh. Whoever came up with that phrase must have known my family. I sent my MIL an e-mail telling her that the trip to the b&b couldn't come at a better time because my husband had a rough week. Last night, I got a nearly hysterical e-mail from her worrying that hubby and I are on the road to divorce. She kept reminding me that my life as a Navy wife isn't permanent. I think I understand that better than she does and I often wonder where all this comes from.

Is it just that misery loves company? She got divorced several times so maybe she thinks that is always a hazard? I don't know. I can understand that considering her point of view, but she seems transfixed by the idea that hubby and I are unhappy. I have no idea where it comes from. It isn't him, they barely ever talk. It isn't me, because all I ever say to her is that I adore him, can't imagine any version of my future without him...

Is it me? Am I the one whose point of view is skewed? Do any of you get where this might be coming from? I'd really love some insight.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

You ever just have one of those mornings?

Well, this is one of those mornings for me. My husband has duty today. That means a 4:30 wake up call for him, and this morning it also unfortunately meant a 5 am wake up for me! Ugh. You may ask why I was up at such an ungodly hour of the morning? Well, technically I am an early riser, but this morning, I was actually still sleeping at 5 am when my husband came in asking me where his underwear were. Yes, you heard me right, the man was looking for his underwear.

Now maybe it's me, and maybe my brain is just in a fog this early in the morning but I'd think he would be able to find his own underwear, wouldn't you think so? I mean, they have been in the same place for the entire 9 years of our marriage. Top dresser drawer. It isn't rocket science. So, I tell him where the undies are and roll over to attempt to go back to sleep. Not 10 minutes later he is looking for something else- his blankets that I had washed for him. I said, "Honey, they are downstairs next to the door, folded and ready to go." You know, the man is a genius but he is also as helpless as a new born baby without me. Why is that?

Every morning it's something - his keys, his wallet, his gloves, his id, something.... After a while, wouldn't you find one place to keep all these things together? Or is that just me being too practical this morning?

Did I mention that on top of ALL of this, my coffee pot is broken and Sporty has a rash? Yes, the day is not off to an auspicious beginning, but on a positive note, things can only improve. Right? RIGHT????

Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm So Excited!

My mom is coming this Thursday, and I always love having her here. We laugh together and she is such great company while my husband is gone. Luckily, this time there is some overlap and she will be here at the same time that he is still home. You know what that means? Grandma's got the girls - which is the way she likes it!

So, since my husband is going to be gone for Valentines Day - AGAIN! - I made reservations at a local bed and breakfast for this weekend. I am so stinking excited that it isn't even funny! We are staying at the Second Penny Inn and it is just gorgeous! Our room is beautiful. Here is a picture:

The room has a fireplace and an en suite claw footed jacuzzi tub for two! I am so thankful that my mom is going to be here and that Robbie and I will be able to celebrate our love, even if it isn't on the "appropriate" day for lovers - and that my friends is the subject for another blog....

So on Sunday we will be off enjoying our time together sans kiddos. I'll check in next week to let you all know how it was!

Friday, January 11, 2008

I Should Have Named Her Victoria...

As in Beckham.... No one told me I was the mother of the new generation of "Posh" but there you have it. My little tidbit has a new nickname. So funny story... Every week at Posh's school, they have the letter of the week. They talk about the letter, the sound it makes, they have snacks that start with the letter, and they talk about words that start with that letter. Sounds fun, right?
So yesterday, I arrive a little early to pick Posh up. They have the list of words that the children have talked about that start with the letter of the week - this week's letter being "M". It is always fun to read the list, but this week was especially entertaining.
So, I'm reading the list:" Mommy, milk, moon, monster, March, music"... and then I get to my daughters contributions: "Macy's" followed immediately by "mall". Too funny. I looked at the teacher and she said, "Yep, those were Emily's additions." As if I didn't already know.
You see, even though I am pretty ecclectic in my clothing tastes - down right hippy I guess - my daughter truly is Posh. She loves to wear dresses. Only dresses. I really can't get her to wear pants. She doesn't care if she has to wear snow pants under her dress just to be warm enough, just as long as she can wear a dress. She surely doesn't get this from her mother - who lives in jeans - or her sister - which going with the spice girl theme would be "Sporty".
My daughter loves to shop. This, sadly, she does get honestly. We all share that habit. Anyhow, I was relaying this story to my mother, who of course just beamed with pride. She told Posh, " When Gigi comes next week, I'm going to take you to Macy's and get you a dress that twirls!" To which my daughter happily exclaimed, " I LOVE that place! Let's do lunch while we are out!"
They really are peas in a pod.... How did this happen?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Are men really from Mars? I dont' think so....

I know that we women often comment on how different men are from us. I know that men do this too. But are we really so different? Sometimes I think we are more alike than we even realize. I definitely don't think we are from different planets.
I think that women and men both have a lot of misconceptions about one another.

I realized this the other day when my husband told me that he was worried about some things in our future. You see, I always thought of him as being so self assured, so confident and collected. I really didn't realize that he worried over certain types of things - like our house, his job, time away from the family. I was so taken aback and I guess that I shouldn't have been. It made me feel so selfish because I get so caught up in my own cares and concerns that I often don't think of his. Actually, to be totally honest, outside of his job, I didn't really think he had any concerns.

I was talking with some friends today and we were talking about men. It was all in good fun, but many of these misconceptions came up. You know the generalizations that I am talking about because we have all have heard them. Men can't do laundry, they don't think things through, they don't plan for the future, they don't multi - task, etc..... Maybe my husband is an anomaly, but he does all of these things. Even the laundry, and yes, he even manages to not turn our underwear pink. ( It's a good thing since I am sure he would get ragged on no end about that on the submarine.)

I do think that there are some fundamental differences in the manner in which men and women communicate. For example, men like to "fix" things. They don't really understand our need to vent. Girlfriends really are better for venting. Trust me on this. Another thing, if you give a man ( or if you are a man reading this the opposite would be true for you) a task to do which they do not normally do, IE the laundry, you must give them explicit instructions, even things that you may think are obvious and take for granted that they know. Be specific. In my relationship it would be the same if my husband were telling me how to fix my computer. He would have to be explicit and take me step by step, otherwise something bad would be bound to happen.

Men don't have hidden meanings in the things they say the way that women do. Come on ladies, to be totally honest you know that we all have mastered the art of the backhanded compliment. How many times have you walked away from a conversation with another women - in my case especially my in-laws - where you find yourself saying, "what did she mean by that?" In my limited experience with men, they say what they mean. There is no hidden context. If there are any guys out there reading this, you can correct me if I'm wrong here, but I don't like veal means I don't like veal not I dont' like the way you fix it, my mothers is much better.

I also think it is sad that men seem to be hardwired by society to hide their feelings, their cares and concerns from their loved ones. Maybe they are afraid of not being "manly". I think it is up to us to make them feel secure enough in our relationships that they can confide these things honestly and openly.

I just think that we get so caught up in our differences that we forget those things that bring us together, that make us the same. We all want to be happy, we all want our children to grow up to be healthy and safe, we all want to know love.... I guess we are all Earthlings after all.

Monday, January 7, 2008

The Defining Moments

We have all had them - those moments which shape our lives for good or for ill. Sometimes I find myself in one of those moments and recognize it for what it is. Other times, they occur without my knowing, but when I look back I can see how that particular moment changed and impacted my life.
On my Cafemom group,Highs and Lows, we are discussing these moments this week. I sat down and really thought about the moments that changed the course of my life. Here are a few of them.

The death of my brother - my brother, Jamie, died years before I was even born. It is a source of great sadness in my life that I never got to know him. I always wanted a brother. His death affected my life in so many ways, not the least of which was that, at least with my Dad, my sisters and I lived in the Shadow of what my brother might have been. We were always compared to his ghost. It's hard to live up to what might have been.

My first kiss - Thank you Jimmy Rossmiller. Because of Jimmy, I realized that I was in no way cut out to be a nun, which was my first occupational "calling". That kiss was sweet, shy, soft, and memorable, even if it did take place in a grave yard. ( Yes, it's a long story...) At any rate, I will always be thankful to Jimmy for showing me that I was not nun material.

The Death of my Grandmother - my Grandmother died when I was ten. She was my best friend. I miss her every single day - STILL. Her death affected me, because I realize that life is fragile. My grandmother died when she was 62. She was much too young. I don't take my loved ones for granted. I love fiercely and I tell my loved ones often that I love them. I always regretted not being able to say goodbye one last time to my Grandmother and I never want to have that regret again.

The night I met my husband - seriously, I knew that he would change my life forever. I just knew it. I didn't know how, and if you had asked me then, I never would have guessed how it all turned out, but I knew that he would change me. And he has.... in so many ways - all for the better. Every moment of happiness that I have known as an adult since have all been impacted by that night.

My wedding day - wow - the moment I looked into those brown eyes of his and said my vows - I believed with all my heart that it was forever. When I look at his hand in mine, sometimes it is hard to tell where my hand stops and his begins. My future - whatever it may be - is empty without my husband.

The birth of my daughters - there is nothing like becoming a mother when it comes to change. Yes, I knew, in the moment, that each child would change me. Each has brought so much joy to my life and when I look at them, I feel so humbled by the awesome trust that I have been given. These two little lives are mine to shape, love, and encourage. These two little lives are mine to care for and that is such an awesome responsibility. Being a mother is the greatest challenge that I have ever faced in my life and I love every minute of it - mostly. ( Come on, no one loves the projectile vomit, screaming, hair pulling craziness.... but you know what I mean)My daughters truly are the lights of my life.

I look forward to the future with hope in my heart as I face whatever other defining moments life has in store for me. I know that some will be sorrowful and others will be joyful, but that's life. You have to take the good with the bad. After all, no one has the right to ask, when bad things happen "Why did this happen to me?" unless we also ask the same question of every moment of happiness we are given. Life is a gift. All of it. Live the moment.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Back to Life, Back to Reality

All through the insanity of the holidays, I found myself thinking," It will be nice to get back to normal." Well, I'm not sure about normal per se - after all, whose life is really normal - but in our family we are at least back to reality.

My daughters returned to school yesterday. It was wonderful having them home and spending time together, but they were both ready to go back. They missed their friends. Last night I was regaled with stories about who got what for the holiday, who they played with, who the new best friends are and what they are learning in school. I live for those moments where my daughters really share their lives with me. I love hearing their stories and gaining insight both into the people that they are, and the young women that, at least my oldest, is becoming. My youngest - Tidbit - is still too little to be a young woman.
Funny story about Tidbit though. As I was walking her into school yesterday, she looked up at me with those big, brown eyes of hers and said, " You know mom, when I go to Kindergarten and Big Girl School, I'm going to need a new backpack." I said, "Ok honey, we can get you a new backpack for Kindergarten." She replies, "Ok, so maybe we should do that tonight so that I will be ready for Big Girl School tomorrow..." As we jumped into the puddles together I said, "Let's not rush being big Girls". She just smiled and said " Ok Mom." I know that long before I am ready, my little Tidbit will be off to be a Big Girl and I don't mean to elementary school either. Time flies.

My husband also went back to reality. He went back to work today. It has been absolute heaven having him home with me every day for the last ten days. Unlike the girls, he wasn't ready to go back. Last night he shared that he has been worried about so many things: work, his NASA application, selling our house when the time comes, time away from the girls and I, all the things that he misses.... We were talking about our oldest daughter, Little Bit. He asked why I had given her my old scarf. I said, "Well, she hates pink and it is all I can do to get her to wear her scarf because it's pink. Now that she has the blue one - problem solved." He said, " I didn't know she had an aversion to pink. When did that happen? It used to be her favorite color." I didn't have the heart to tell him that it had been well over a year since my daughter has refused to wear anything pink. He misses so much.

So, now that the holidays are over, we may not be back to "normal" but we are back to reality.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

2007 - the year in Review - I've been Tagged!

This is for my friend Nikki from Chaos in the Country who tagged me to do this Meme. I love doing this kind of thing, and I think Nikki knows that about me! :)
Here goes:

~ Start Copy ~

Rules :
1. Copy from “Start Copy” until “End of Copy”.
2. Before “End of Copy”, share your best memories of 2007 include your name and your URL blog.
3. Share this tag to your friends.

2007 Summed Up

The Improved Me (Not New, that would imply I was never here until now).
This was my one year anniversary from having Ablation surgery and as promised (Damn Doctors and husbands, always gotta be right don't they?) I feel better than I have in seven years. There is something wildly refreshing about having almost 30 years of scar tissue removed from your heart. No my dishes still aren't done and there is a pile of laundry waiting for me daily but now I feel that tackling it won't make me want to sleep for days anymore. Most recently is my desire to take better care of myself. I started a log of my progress (which needs updating) on a Myspace blog (you will have to ask for that information, I'm not giving it out freely). Plus, my mom's own scare with breast cancer and skin cancer has made me become more aware of how well I am taking care of this temple and just how long I need it to last me.

My Growing Boy
Bug moved up to Middle School this fall and it was especially heart wrenching for me because I watched, my first born, a child that I was told I should never have (because of my heart no less), jump into a world where kindness and innocence is on the verge of extinction. It was quite possibly the saddest moment of my life and the happiest because HE needed me to be as happy as he was. In case you missed it, you can read all about that here.

Back to School
For just about all of us it seemed. Bug began Middle School, and Bebe and Shorty carried on at Elementary School without the watchful eyes of their big brother while I went back to school to save what functioning brain cells I still have. All has worked out well as of Christmas break: Bug made Merit Roll, Bebe made Honor Roll, Shorty has had all Green days (a big deal in first grade) and I ended the quarter with a 3.0 GPA.

All my blogging and writing has started to pay off with the birth of Mommy Know How and some new writing clients. I've tried to learn all I can and put it to use. From resumes and cover letters to putting my best samples for the job out in front, the process is working.

By Nikki @ Chaos In The Country

2007 in Review:
The year for me was full of ups and downs. I started out New Years Eve last year alone while my husband was half a world away. My daughters and I rang in the New Year with sparkling cider and a party at noon not midnight. I love my daughters, but I enjoy ringing in the new year with my husband, kissing him at midnight and that was just not to be in 2007. It set the tone for the whole year. The girls and I stayed busy through the winter months, we enjoyed sled riding, making snowmen and we had a lot of visitors.
Spring came in April with my eldest daughters birthday and the return ( finally!) of my husband. My MIL came to visit in May - only for 10 days - and we all enjoyed her visit.

Summer is my favorite time of year here in Connecticut because my daughters and I love going to the beach. We have lived in Florida, Georgia, Maryland and South Carolina and I have been to many nice beaches, but my favorite by far are right here in Connecticut! We spend long summer days at the beach - looking for shells, clams, sea stars, playing in the water.... Summer is a magical time.

In Fall, my youngest started five day preschool and that was such an adjustment for me! She loves it, but it is hard to believe that my baby goes to school five days a week now. At first I thought I would just rattle around the house trying to find something to do with myself, but the hours have turned out to be suprisingly easy to fill. My eldest started third grade and I have the honor of volunteering in her classroom every Friday. I have to say that it is my favorite time of the week.

This holiday season has brought more writing opportunities. I have stepped way back from my time on Cafemom, and with the encouragement of friends, started my own personal blog here. I love blogging and I love the great friends that I have met and also those that I am able to keep in touch with this way. This blog has been such an emotional release to me and I appreciate all your comments!
I also started working at as a forum host and I love it! It is a website that focuses on all aspects of our health and I hope that 2008 will be a happier, healthier year for me, my friends and my family!

I am now tagging Kate of Jonathan's Closet, Roe at Roespot - More Coffee Please and Keri at Stripey Cat Production. One more thing - just wanted to wish you all a VERY happy new year and the best of everything in 2008! Love~ Snow at Snowflake Submerged.
~End Copy~