Monday, January 7, 2008

The Defining Moments

We have all had them - those moments which shape our lives for good or for ill. Sometimes I find myself in one of those moments and recognize it for what it is. Other times, they occur without my knowing, but when I look back I can see how that particular moment changed and impacted my life.
On my Cafemom group,Highs and Lows, we are discussing these moments this week. I sat down and really thought about the moments that changed the course of my life. Here are a few of them.

The death of my brother - my brother, Jamie, died years before I was even born. It is a source of great sadness in my life that I never got to know him. I always wanted a brother. His death affected my life in so many ways, not the least of which was that, at least with my Dad, my sisters and I lived in the Shadow of what my brother might have been. We were always compared to his ghost. It's hard to live up to what might have been.

My first kiss - Thank you Jimmy Rossmiller. Because of Jimmy, I realized that I was in no way cut out to be a nun, which was my first occupational "calling". That kiss was sweet, shy, soft, and memorable, even if it did take place in a grave yard. ( Yes, it's a long story...) At any rate, I will always be thankful to Jimmy for showing me that I was not nun material.

The Death of my Grandmother - my Grandmother died when I was ten. She was my best friend. I miss her every single day - STILL. Her death affected me, because I realize that life is fragile. My grandmother died when she was 62. She was much too young. I don't take my loved ones for granted. I love fiercely and I tell my loved ones often that I love them. I always regretted not being able to say goodbye one last time to my Grandmother and I never want to have that regret again.

The night I met my husband - seriously, I knew that he would change my life forever. I just knew it. I didn't know how, and if you had asked me then, I never would have guessed how it all turned out, but I knew that he would change me. And he has.... in so many ways - all for the better. Every moment of happiness that I have known as an adult since have all been impacted by that night.

My wedding day - wow - the moment I looked into those brown eyes of his and said my vows - I believed with all my heart that it was forever. When I look at his hand in mine, sometimes it is hard to tell where my hand stops and his begins. My future - whatever it may be - is empty without my husband.

The birth of my daughters - there is nothing like becoming a mother when it comes to change. Yes, I knew, in the moment, that each child would change me. Each has brought so much joy to my life and when I look at them, I feel so humbled by the awesome trust that I have been given. These two little lives are mine to shape, love, and encourage. These two little lives are mine to care for and that is such an awesome responsibility. Being a mother is the greatest challenge that I have ever faced in my life and I love every minute of it - mostly. ( Come on, no one loves the projectile vomit, screaming, hair pulling craziness.... but you know what I mean)My daughters truly are the lights of my life.

I look forward to the future with hope in my heart as I face whatever other defining moments life has in store for me. I know that some will be sorrowful and others will be joyful, but that's life. You have to take the good with the bad. After all, no one has the right to ask, when bad things happen "Why did this happen to me?" unless we also ask the same question of every moment of happiness we are given. Life is a gift. All of it. Live the moment.


SkeinGoddess said...

HI dearie, Love your defining moments, bittersweet memories, and meeting the love of your life... sigh

navywife6 said...

Oh I LOVE defining moments and what I love most about this blog topic is that reading it makes us all think of our own moments TY for reminding me of a few of mine that I treasure.

Smitty76 said...

My first kiss was with a Jimmy, as well! :-)
Thanks for sharing your defining just makes me stop and think about my own appreciate all of them!