Wednesday, March 31, 2010

So You Think You Have the Market Cornered

Have you ever met one of those people that think they have the market cornered on problems? No one could possibly have as many problems as they do! I think we have all probably known people like that, and in most circumstances, probably many.

I'll give you an example: I live in Southeastern Connecticut and for the last two days, we have had record amounts of rain. I'm talking 10" of rain or higher. The ground has been pretty well saturated and there was just no where for the water to go, so guess where it went? You guessed it... into our basement. We had 2-3" of standing water - what a pain in the ass! We have been working for the past two days to clean it all out and I'm glad to say that we are once again "high and dry."

In the midst of all of this, there was some drama between my MIL and SIL. Not fun. It's a serious issue that needs to be discussed but the timing couldn't have been more colossally bad. In this case, it really never rains but it pours.

Here's my frustration though and the point of this post. ( Be honest, you were wondering if it was coming, weren't you??) Everyone has problems. Yes, they are relative and some people really do have more serious problems than others, but we all have them. No one has cornered the market - not the martyr who takes on everyone's problems and then wants to whine about it, not the one who creates 99.9999% of their own problems and then wants professionals ( ie lawyers) to fix it for them, not the extremely overweight person who won't accept a modicum of responsibility for their own unhappiness, no, not even the military wife who never puts her big girl panties on - we ALL have problems.

The real question in this life is not whether or not we have problems because I have already stated, we all do. It's how you handle those problems that count. Taking on so many problems that rightfully belong to other people so that you are so overwhelmed you can't function properly wouldn't be a great way to cope. Leaving your difficulties to lawyers to unravel is probably only going to get you more problems. Blaming others for your decisions and choices never allows you the ownership of those choices and the ability to affect real change in your life. Wanting your life to be other than it is and yet doing nothing other than wishing and hoping, well, in the words of that 60's song "won't bring him into your arms".

Problems have to be faced. Head on. There has to be a PLAN of action for addressing the problem. Have you noticed yet that I am big on plans? Most of mine go awry but it gives me the illusion of control over my own life. Yesterday we faced our problem by marching into three inches of water and getting our hands ( and everything else!) wet. One thing that this life has taught me, there is always a curve ball. Tragedy is always one second away, and you won't always be able to be ready for the things that life throws at you; however, the good part is that you decide what to do with the pitches you are given.

Don't let the martyrs, the whiners, and others bring you down. Live your life.


Jen said...

I love that song! And well said! I've been irritated over the same thing lately - too many people boo hooing over things that don't really matter!

Moonaroo said...

Thank you so much for this post. I have a close friend who has been beset by more than the average amount of problems this last year. Lately I have been getting quite a bit of flack for trying to set boundaries around how I deal with her problems. After all I am only human and can only handle so much! Have a great day.