The Big Apple

New York is a strange city full of the complex contrasts found in all of humanity - the best and worst, the beautiful and ugly.... New York has it all. You always hear about how rude New Yorkers are. We certainly experienced that - from the man who literally crawled over me at the subway, to the fat youths who refused to give up seats on the subway to the elderly, rudeness appears to be a common fabric in the thread of every day New York life. And yet, there is kindness there too, all the more appreciated because it is often so unexpected. In the middle of a museum as we prepared to head back into the city, a security guard noticed us and with a smile, asked if there was anything he could do to help - anyway that he could make our visit to his city more enjoyable. What a breath of fresh air his kind concern was.
And speaking of fresh air, there isn't much of it in the downtown areas of the city. The air seems to have a dunk and desperate scent almost impossible to describe. Going down into the subway, leaving the sun and light, I felt the edges of the darkness grab on to my coat and the despair clawed at my skin and hair. I didn't want to go down there. And yet, there in the depths of the city, we found an ancient Japanese man playing music on an equally ancient Japanese instrument. His song was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes. I have never heard music like that, and doubt that I ever will again. New York once again showed her dual personality to me.
The city is dirty and crowded, a place that I couldn't imagine spending more than one night. And yet, Uptown, by Central Park, the walkways are spacious, clear and pristine. The Park itself is a haven in the heart of the city. Looking at the golden tulip tress there, I could almost understand where JRR Tolkien could have gotten his inspiration for the forests of Lorien, it was that magical. I loved Central Park in the fall, it was simply breathtaking. I would like to see it in the other seasons as well.
The city is full of fashionistas and fashion victims, the hopeful and the homeless, the talented and the repressed. Any writer experiencing a block should go to the city because one is sure to experience the breath of humanity and human emotions there.

Recent Reads

My russian fascination continues - this time with a thrilling story about a thief, a deserter and some eggs. It's a gripping tale that will make you laugh, cry and see the true nature of war. I loved it from start to finish.

This one was a book club selection. I was hesitant at first, and though it isn't heavy lifting, it was definitely enjoyable and well worth the read. It's quick, probably only took me a day or two. I loved the interaction among the family members and the relationships in the book provided colorful fodder for discussion.



Another book club selection. I had never read Agatha Christie before, which seems strange even to me. This one was a real treat for Halloween, even if it was a little predictable toward the end. I thoroughly enjoyed it.


Anne Rice is still the master storyteller. I read this one years ago during my vampire fascination and it was - by far- my favorite Anne Rice book. I loved it so much that I choose to revisit it for Halloween. I have always wanted to visit Egypt and have forever been fascinated with the Pharoahs so this one is just pure fun from start to finish.



For all my Sci-fi/fantasy fans out there - if you haven't read Sara Douglass you need to. She is a rarity in the genre - a truly original voice. Check her out, she is very prolific and all the books are good.

You can see that I have been reading for fun lately. You will also see more YA books going on my Have read list because I am now doing a discussion group with my daughters fifth grade class - (it's Amazing!!) Up next? Elsewhere, Tell Me Where It Hurts, The Murder of King Tut and more.....

Sometimes You Just Have to Show Up

I don't know if I mentioned this here yet, but I am the class mom for my 5th graders class again this year. I know, just call me "sucker". Still, I love being invovled with the school and most importantly the children. Even as they grow into preteens, they still like knowing that someone cares enough to show up.

So last week, I sent home a flyer asking for donations to make our Halloween party for the children special. I'm not asking for goodie bags or huge donations - simply some juice pouches, cookies, cupcakes, the usual for a class party. Obviously the party is next Friday and while the flyers have been out for over a week now, and the deadline for turning them in is rapidly approaching, I still only have three that have been returned. Three parents out of twenty have stepped forward to volunteer just a little of themselves to make their child's day a little better. Sort of sad, isn't it? I mean, I am certainly grateful for those three, but where the hell are the seventeen other parents? Does it really take such a huge time committment out of your day that you can't fill and return a form? Are people really so apathetic that they are simply satisfied to sit by and let others do all the heavy lifting? What message does this send to our children?

I feel so blessed that every Friday I get to spend an hour of my day with these amazing children. I know that not everyone has the same opportunities that I do. I know that people have to work and often can't be there even though they would like to be. But really, 20 napkins is too much to ask?

I wish these parents could see the faces of their children when I walk into that room every Friday. I wish they could see the way their faces light up, or the ways the girls will just come by and give me a hug. It's magic. All these children want is someone to show up, and let them know they care and that can happen in so many ways - volunteering, spending time with them doing their homework, donating items to the classroom and simply making time for them. They do still need that in their lives and the depth of their response to those that they know really care about them - breathtaking. I know I'm lucky, I just wish that a few more people would take just a few minutes to show up.

Surely Not My Daughter

It reminds me of that 60's song..."She looks like an angel, walks like an angel, talks like an angel.... but I got wise.... She's the devil in disguise." Ok, so maybe not the devil per se but my little angel came home with some very unexpected news from First Grade.

As she sits herself down to the kitchen table for her afternoon snack today, she nonchalantly tells me that she needs to buy Mrs. Jeffrey some new crayons. Come again?? "Any why, pray tell, would you need to do that?" I calmly asked. "Oh, because I snapped some crayons in half today." HUH??? My sweet little angel that likes to wear twirly dresses and dance went on some sort of bender and snapped a bunch of crayons in half? What the heck is going on??

I asked, "Did you break the crayons by accident, pressing too hard while coloring".."Not exactly...." "Well, how exactly did you break them, or better yet, why??" "Ethan M. told me to." I don't think that anything could have made my blood boil more than the preceeding statement. After all, my daughter is desended from a long line of Irish bare-knuckled fist fighters. Snapping the crayons because someone had the audacity to tell her that her coloring sucked is something that I could at least understand if not condone, but this... Oh this was totally unacceptable.

"What if Ethan M. told you to cut off your hair with scissors, would you do that?"
"Mom, don't be silly...." Well how is one thing silly and the other isn't, I ask you???
So, the end result is that my little princess will have to give up three weeks worth of ice cream money to pay for the new crayons, in addition to a hand written apology that she will deliver tomorrow while also giving a heartfelt in person apology. I told her that this was unacceptable, and I explained why. After all, my husband and I work hard to teach our children right from wrong and the Ethan M's of the world aren't going to stand in our way!

On a serious note, Ethan M. can hardly be held responsible because, while he may have planted the seed, it was my tiny little dancer that did the crayon snapping.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Today is my birthday and it certainly isn't the same without you. I miss my first thing in the morning phone call and your off key voice singing happy birthday. I wonder who will be the first to call this year.

It's been over a month that you have been gone and I miss you everyday. You used to tell me that a girl's dad was the only man that she can trust, and I miss having you to rely on. I guess I never realized just how much I did. When I called you everyday, I used to tell myself that was for you but in reality, now I know that it was as much for myself as it was for you. I love and miss you so much.

I know that you are in a better place now - a world where Cancer can never touch you, and for that, I am so grateful. I look forward to the day that I will see you again. Did I tell you that I started a Relay for Life team here in New London? I'm sick of the people that I love having Cancer. First it took Grandma, then Pop-pop, then Uncle John and now you... It's just too much. And now, the doctor's have found a "suspicious growth" on Bill's kidney. Just in the same area where we first discovered your Cancer. Too many good people have died and I have decided to do something about it. I know that would make you proud, you were always so proactive and did so much to help others.

I was thinking about the time that I was in the hospital when I was a little girl the other day. Remember the twin boys with the webbed hands? I remember that their parents never came to visit them, but you bought them both a baseball mitt to wear when their operation was over. It's funny the things that I had buried in my subconscious somewhere but now I remember and see so clearly.

I am so thankful for all the years we had together. I wish I would have told you that I loved you more, but I hope you always knew. You are, and will forever be, my hero. I wish you were here with me today..... I love you Dad.

It's Three More Feet - You've Got to be Kidding Me!

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past two days. I'm having some girlfriends over tonight ( so excited!) and I wanted the house to look beautiful. I love it when it's really clean, but sometimes it just seems like it's impossible to maintain.

I have two little girls ages 10 and 6 and a husband. Everyone in my family, myself included sometimes, seems to have it "stays where it lays" mentality. Shoes on the floor, backpacks and jackets, socks... just stuff everywhere. So, I have promised to make more of an effort to maintain our beautiful home and I am hoping that my whole family will support me in this endevour. I am sure it will be an effort to retrain everyone though. I guess maybe I just have to make it more of a priority and sort of "get on" people when they don't do the things that they should. Still, being a harpy gets old and just once, it would be really nice if people in my family did the right thing without asking.

I asked my husband to take up a pile of his laundry and put it away. A few minutes later, I climbed the stairs, heavy carpet cleaner in my hand only to open my bedroom door and literally find his stuff thrown on the floor where he left it. Really? You couldn't take two extra steps to get it to the bed? Or better yet just friggin put it away like I asked? Is that really so hard???? So here I am venting about it. I did mention it to him - I even ut the stuff on his bed so that he would have to clean it off before he gets in. Probably I will find it on the again later today. Grrrr...... Sometimes it gets old being the Harpy and older still when it's necessary.

I'm in Love.... with Rhett Butler

I just finished rereading Gone with the Wind and can I just say that I love Rhett? My Dad always called me Scarlett, a comparison that I often found unattractive, but now that I am older I think I understand. Scarlett is the one who kept her family together, she worked hard to save Tara - she sacrificed everything including her own happiness. Sometimes she was selfish and heartless but in the end, she always did what she believed was right.
The final scene between Scarlett and Rhett is just heart rending...."Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." You know deep down that Rhett still loves Scarlett, that he will always love Scarlett. I guess he just couldn't handle the pain of thinking she didn't love him anymore. Do you think that in any potential relationship that there is always a "deal breaker"? That one thing that makes you walk away when you would rather not? I always wondered what happened after that. Knowing Scarlett, I am sure that she got her man in the end, at least I hope so.

I have been reading like crazy lately and I realized that I hadn't updated my blog. So here is a brief review:
The White Queen by Phillipa Gregory. This is the story of Elizabeth Woodville - queen to Edward the 4th and mother to the infamous "Princes in the Tower". I have to say that while I have found Gregory's other historical fictions dubious on occassion - I loved this one. Gregory's portrayal of Edward was so heartfelt and absolutely believeable. I think she nailed it. Best of all, she doesn't follow the cast of usual suspects in the case of her missing boys but entertains all possibilities. I am looking forward to the next installment.

The History of Love - by Nicole Krauss. This has to be one of the most original stories that I have ever read. It was captivating and comes at the reader from so many different angles and perspectives. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and was captivated by how different it was.

The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry. I loved the historical references of people and places in this one. It is set in Ipswich/ Salem so that was very interesting. At times I felt lost and confused by the writers style, but still found the story to be enjoyable.

The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf. This story was riveting. It is about a little girl - who can not speak and her best friend - both of whom disappear. THere are so many different themes in this book - the repurcussions of our actions, destiny and true love, karma, what defines who we are, and more. It was a quick read with much fodder for thought.

Up next: Elsewhere, Tell Me Where it Hurts and I am still working on The Brothers Karamozov.