Sunday, July 11, 2010

It's Karma Baby.

Yesterday my MIL departed and all the overly dramatic incidents in my life came to a screeching halt. Funny how that happens.
Here is a brief recap:
I already told you about her teeth. That cost us over $1000. - so far. The bottom teeth haven't been replaced yet, and if you have been to a dentist lately, you have some idea of how expensive that is. Enough said. Shit happens, and this is just something that we will have to take care of. Moving on.
I spent several nights while she was here out with girlfriends. This was done not only because I enjoy my time with my friends, but also to preserve my sanity. I had to spend some time away from the endless, nonsensical blathering. One day was particularly bad. I was half out of my mind when I left my house, but felt so much better after dinner at Chile's with my very good friend, Amy. We are both working on our masters degree right now, and I love hearing about her classes and the things she is learning. Plus, she is a great listener and always has a positive way of looking at everything. It helps give perspective. When I got home, I was feeling human again. Until I heard the screaming as I pulled into my garage.
My husband and his mother were in our spare bedroom screaming at one another at the top of their lungs while my baby ( she's 6 so not really a baby...) was terrified in her bedroom. I went upstairs and found my usually very rational man so pissed off that he was actually shaking. I had never seen that before. They were arguing about his mother's continuous inability to manage her medication. (She over medicated her antibiotics and was out four days earlier than she was supposed to be, as a result, my husband had to keep her medication and dole it out daily... pathetic and frustrating for him really.) After all of that and her continued assurances that she had all the medication that she needed, we collectively made no less than five additional trips to the pharmacy for her various medications. It just pushed him over the edge.
He had some problems with his vision and horrible headaches as a result of all the stress. They actually did a sonogram of his neck and heart to make sure that he didn't have a heart problem. He may be diagnosed with migraines, which is likely submarine disqualifying, because of all the stress his mother put him through in the 18 days she was here. If so, this will have a huge and lasting financial impact on my family. Thank you MIL.
Fast forward to Friday. I went to the lake on our base to see a dear friend and her children that my girls and I haven't seen in over a year. I have missed her terribly and have been looking forward to her visit for months now. One potential spoiler? Had to stop at the pharmacy for more pills on the way and of course, MIL had to go with me. Ugh. She never shuts up. I hardly got to visit with my friend without her incessent droning. There was some verbal flap over a bikini that my SIL had purchased for my oldest daughter. Sporty as I call her wanted nothing to do with a bikini and told my MIL that her daughter " doesn't know me at all." Needless to say that opened a WHOLE can of unnecessary drama complete with crocodile tears and more nonsensical diatribes.
When I got home, MIL then started drama with me by saying that my SIL "never meant to say anything bad about my children." How the hell would you hear/ interpret that statement? Probably that someone was saying something less than nice about your children right? Well, I correctly figured that my MIL was talking her usual bullshit and a whole can of bs was opened over that.
To make a long story short ( and I realize that this isn't really short - sorry. Thanks for bearing with me if you are still reading...) I told MIL that she is worthless, at risk of losing both her son and her granddaughter, she doesn't know what the hell she is talking about more than 90% of the time and if she starts any more drama between my SIL and I, she will not be welcome until it gets resolved.
The positives of this little jaunt? At least my husband realizes that no, his mother can NEVER live with us. The woman is nothing but a whirling bag of drama who leaves devastation in her wake everywhere she goes. My children aren't going to be among her victims. Nor are we going to enable her continued non acceptance for responsibility in her own life. After all, she has problems with my BIL, my husband, myself, doctors, neighbors... It can't always be the fault of the other person when the only commonality in all the insanity is her.
The last bit... the karma. Well, she got on the airplane yesterday to go to CO to visit her precious daughter and the center of the universe, my nephew. She missed her connection and had to be driven to another airport some hours away. At some point, what comes around, goes around. I hope that she has a much better visit in CO than she has had her in CT.


Ken said...

My goodness. Certainly a lot to deal with. I'm glad my wife, from time to time, declares to me that there's no way we're going to bail out (which would include having them move in with us) her parents. I'm hoping my sister-in-law and her busband stay together... for many reasons, but also because it will make it more likely sister-in-law will take care of them.

As for my parents, I don't think my father will outlive his wife. My brother will likely live with my mother until she dies. He's never moved out, and I will be surprised if he everd does. Complete with a joint checking account, they are like an old married couple now... except for the sex (I hope). Actually, not having sex is a condition in some older marriages... so maybe they are EXACTLY like an old married couple.

Ann M. said...

YIKES! I am glad that she is gone (and doing a little dance that her trip to the next family members to torture didn't go smoothly).

Really sorry to hear that your husband's not feeling well and that they may pull him from sub duty. That really, really sucks.

Hope now that the witch is gone things get brighter!

Anonymous said...

Wow. Wow. I just stumbled across your blog this morning and your latest post was one I can truly relate to. (even though no one here is in the military, we do move a lot).

But this post...what a horror. My mother is living with us for the summer and luckily we have a space that she can have to herself. She's left husband #2 (she's 64), we are trying to be supportive and offered up our guest space (for free) thinking that it would be nice if she helped watch our three little ones on the random night we might like to go out for a bite to eat or see a movie. Reality? She got a job, has some guy from HS coming to stay, and is always waaaaay too tired to watch the kids without making it seem like a burden. Hope she's enjoying her free pad.
I'm so sorry for what your mother in law does. To cause such stress that she brings on illness is unacceptable. She sounds like a completely toxic person and perhaps better if visits happen less and for shorter periods of time. For the well-being of your family. I've learned that just because someone is your parent, doesn't mean that you are obligated to let them ruin your life. Would you let a random friend treat you/your husband/daughter that way? Something to think about...
Nice to *meet* you by the way. Excellent writing.