Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Working too Hard?

Do you ever feel like your working too hard at a friendship? You don't hear from someone in a while, you call or try to touch base and things... well, they just keep slipping apart. I have to say that I feel that way about a few of my friendships right now and it's sad really.
MaIybe I'm a bad friend. Maybe life just gets complicated. To be honest, there are few people that I expend the emotional labor on to become friends in the first place. Now, to most of you that probably sounds really harsh, but those of you in the Navy will probably understand. The fact is, I'm in one place for 2-3 years usually. Just when I have a beautiful friendship going, it's time to go again. Sure I have many close friends in various places that I do maintain friendships with, but it's a challenge. After a while, you have to ask yourself, how hard do I want to work to make this friendship happen? Will it survive the next move I know is coming? Are we just in different places in our lives? I'm not really sure myself about the answers to these questions. Maybe there is just something about me.
Since I've started back to school, I have been happier than I have been in a long time. I love school, but sometimes it feels isolating. I'm so busy working on homework that I don't have a lot of time for making an extra effort to maintain relationships that are important to me.
What do you think readers? How do you maintain your friendships/ relationships? Especially for those of you that are military, do you ever feel this way?


Ken said...

Not in the military, and outside of online communications, my friendships have been suffering because of a lack of time. Plus I'm a guy, and our friendships are different. But for what it is worth...

If I value a friendship, I tend to try to keep it going through calls, e-mails, and using those communications to set up a get-together to do something together every once in a while. But there's only so much you can do. If someone is not responding and is never able to meet up, then there comes a point where you put your energies elsewhere.

You don't need to be hostile or "break up" with the friend. Just... let it go. The friend may eventually make the effort to get things going again when that friend's life is more suited to it. This has happened to me.

You don't strike me as the "vampire" sort, in which it is best for people to drop you for their own well-being. I had to do that with one friend in particular.

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chris and kim said...

Life is busy - and fast! The people that you interact with weekly tend to be your closest friends, therefore you make the effort to get together with them. Other people are just friendly acquaintances that you meet with on occasion, or not at all. It doesn't mean that those people don't care… or aren't concerned with your life. It just means that life is busy - and fast! :-) I truly think people are only capable of having 2-5 close friendships, besides family.