Where do we go from here?

My poor blog was starting to feel very neglected. I really haven't had too much time for writing other than classwork related assignments. Between work, school, and my family - well, I'm usually pretty tired.
Usually when I write, I don't write for you all (though it is really nice to have your feedback and support). I usually write to process thoughts and emotions that I am dealing with and that is certainly the case today.
I have a lot going on in my life. We are getting ready for another move and I just found out that the last year I have spent working on my Master's degree in Education has been largely for naught. Maryland won't accept most of my degree, so I will probably have to retake some classes. This all causes a lot of frustration. I want to go home to Maryland, but I hate leaving my home and my job. It's a mixed blessing, I guess.
Then there has been a lot going on with my husband and I. I really feel us growing apart. I don't know what to do about it. The things that interest him just don't interest me and vice versa. For example, he took my oldest daughter skiing today. I think that's great and I hope they have a wonderful day together, but I have zero desire to go myself today or any foreseeable time in the future. Then, what often happens is I feel compelled to go because my husband makes me feel guilty with phrases like " I want to go as a family" or "I can't take both girls unless you go". I have no problem with him going and even encourage it, yet I hate being made to feel like I have to. Especially when reciprocity is a foreign concept.
I realized that II have allowed family time to stop me from spending time with God. Because my husband doesn't "do" Church, I have been giving up my time to spend time together. That really isn't right though and recently, I started going again - usually ALONE. Occasionally my youngest daughter will come with me, she likes the songs and stories. I don't ask my husband to come or tell him how much more enjoyable it would be for me if we could go as a family. What's the point? I know it's hopeless. I think the best thing I can do is demonstrate God's love to my family, but sometimes it gets so hard.
I look around the house and I see stuff everywhere. I am working so hard to make a nice dinner, do the laundry, try to prepare for the more, do my homework, do the things I need to do for my students and still spend time with my husband and kids, but the truth is... it gets more exhausting every day.
I know that I am so lucky to have such a beautiful family, nice home, and everything that I need. So why do I sometimes still feel unhappy? Unappreciated? Sometimes it's really hard to get my head and heart right.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part....

Here we are on the cusp of yet another monumental decision and potential change for our family. We are on the verge of yet another move. You would think after 10 years that some things would become old hat, but each time a decision needs to be made, they all seem more important than the last. This time there could certainly be lasting implications for the whole family - this time we are facing a move that could mean not just leaving our home, but also our country... at least for a little while.
The move could potentially take the Schultz family over the pond - to somewhere that I have always wanted to go - LONDON! It certainly would be a big change, but when I think of the cultural exposure for the children it just sends shivers down my spine. London could be used as a launching pad for us to see, ideally all those things in Europe that we would wish to. I mean, we could go to Paris, Berlin, Greece! Need I say more? Plus, the fact that I am a HUGE history buff doesn't hurt the longing to go there either.
So what you ask is the problem? Well, we are an American family. I have always raised my children to be proud to be American. The sad fact is that there are many people throughout the world who simply do not like us. I worry for some of the things that my children will be "taught" about their country. I will miss seeing the most beautiful flag in the world just driving down the street. And that is just for starters...
I have never lived more than a couple of hours by car from my mother. This time we would have an entire ocean seperating us! My father is 85 years old and his health is now in a rapid decline. I worry that saying goodbye could be for the last time. I worry that something could happen and I wouldn't be able to get back. That is a very real concern for me. Then there is my husband's family - his mother is in dire straights. Moving over to London would make his assistance with her more problematic, not that it is ever really good simply because of his job and schedule, but being an ocean away certainly wouldn't help.
His sister is full up - I don't know how she bears up with all the stress she has on her plate. I don't know how much more she can handle and frankly, I'm not sure that it's really fair to her that she has to. ( Although this point can certainly be debated)
It's exciting this potential move.... and scary. I don't know what the future will bring. I just know that whatever comes, the five of us will face it - together.