Sunday, June 15, 2008

Looking for the Bubbles...

When you get disorientated under the water, you are supposed to check for the bubbles to see which way is up. Right now, in my life, I'm just looking for the bubbles because without them, I have no idea which way is up.
Life gets so hectic and crazy sometimes that all those little moments that make life magical seem to get lost in the shuffle. Here we are, caught up in the throwes of the latest goodbye, and all the little moments get lost in the shuffle of the checklist of "things to do."
I'm still waiting for my husband to get the phone calls to his family out of the way. I hate having that to look forward to. They always call at the worst possible time and then want to talk for hours.... My goodness, my nephew, who my husband hasn't even seen in over 3 years, has to say "goodbye" while my children wait patiently to get their time with their father. It's frustrating... and it's frustrating for him too. Still, nothing ever really changes.
I feel slightly less emotional this time as I wait for the inevitable. I guess in a short while the flood gates will open and I will be here all alone. It's better that way.
I hate feeling like world is spinning out of control, and I just want to hold up the "STOP!" sign. I'm looking forward to some sembelence of normal and balance to come back to my life, though I don't know what "normal" is most of the time, or when that may happen. I guess I will keep looking for the bubbles and try to figure out which way is up.


Just Angela said...

You're a strong woman but strong women still get overwhelmed at times. You have a right to be overwhelmed right now. I wish I lived closer so I could promise to visit and help take your mind off of things after he's left. Again,thank you to your whole family. You all sacrifice so that we are all safer.

April said...

You ARE a strong woman, from the sound of it, but like the previous poster said, you will still feel overwhelmed and stressed out...that's normal! And I say let it out! If you need to cry, then cry. Lord knows, I'd be bawling my eyes out! Just let yourself go through the emotions. And take care!!