Thursday, November 1, 2007

I'm Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Words....

Boy there has been a lot going on in my life lately. I guess the biggest thing is that my best friend is moving. Again. Saying goodbye is going to be really hard this time. I will miss her and the children terribly. But like my husband, hers must go where the Navy calls, and right now that is Georgia. So back to Georgia they go while we remain here in Connecticut.

We were able to trick or treat last night with the children so that was a lot of fun. We have gotten pretty good at taking advantage of the time that we have together. I certainly appreciate her strength and her friendship more than I have probably ever expressed to her.

So last night, I was feeling pretty down and well - befuddled for lack of a better word. I called another friend of mine who I hadn't had a chance to catch up with all week. I have never been sorry to have called her, but last night I was. I don't know what bee she may have had in her bonnet, she never bothered to tell me what was bothering her - at least not specifically. I listened to her complain about others that we know for almost an hour - berating them and their poor treatment of her. Fine, I have no issues with that at all.

Everyone should stick up for themselves and tell it like it is when necessary. Here's the thing though, in my own opinion, I have tried to be understanding and compassionate. I really have. I certainly don't understand her life because I can't. But I try to get what I can of it. I try to be understanding and considerate, and yet last night I felt like I was being lumped in with "others". Why? Well, I guess mainly because I was the one hearing it.

I don't mind having a friend vent. That's what friends were for. But her words were sharp and irritated and when I asked what the point of all of it was - she blew out her breath at me as if I was a first class idiot. Who knows? Maybe I am, because I surely didn't see what the point of all that was except to vent for her and make me feel bad. Especially about things that I don't really have control over or that happened in the past which I already regret.

I need a bubble bath. Calgon take me away.....

I hate to think that this has cost me a friend, especially when I don't really understand what was at the root of it all. ON the other hand, if someone is angry with me, I want them to tell me why they are angry with ME. I'm not a mind reader and I'm not perfect. I make mistakes, I can be selfish. We all are. I will do a lot for my friends, but one thing I won't do, I won't be mistreated.


Chaos Mommy said...

I'm so sorry your bff is moving! I remember you were excited to move up there only because she was there. I hope you have other friends to lean on!