Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Will it Really Help?

Whenever my husband leaves, I am filled with anxiety. I stress about my children, my husband's safety, money, the smells of my car, the noises that any normal house makes and every other little thing under the sun. I hate having all these worries and the feeling that they never go away.
Yesterday my garage door opener went on the blink. Apparently when installed it was never lined up properly and now, fixing it, is going to take my step dad and I several hours later today. Why can't shit just work properly? I mean, is that really so much to ask??
I'm tired of being grateful that I am good with a screwdriver. I'd rather just not have these things go wrong in the first place. Sure it will get fixed, but in the meanwhile, it is just going to give me something else to worry about. Now my heat makes a terrible noise every time one of the zones goes on and I hate that. I worry that the machine isn't working right - why do I always feel like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop? I hate feeling like chicken little and that the sky is falling. It's a terrible way to live your life.
A friend of mine suggested keeping an anxiety journal, you know writing down all the things that I am worried about. I somehow suspect that it would get awfully long very quickly. I will try anything if it would mean being about to put some of these worries to rest, but I wonder if it will help?