Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Like LIghtning from the Blue....

As anyone that is reading these posts knows, Saturday was my birthday. As already stated, it wasn't much of a birthday with my husband not here, but we struggled through. I found out that my brother in law filed for divorce. I was really upset about that - worried about my sister and my nephews. My dad is out there visiting them right now and I was worried about him too. I knew what stress the word of a divorce would put him under and since he is an 84 year old cancer survivor with one kidney, congenital heart failure and diabetes, I was concerned.
Yesterday I received word that my fathers worst fear had been realized. Monday night my sister took my father to the emergency room - he has had a stroke. None of this happened because of anything to do with the divorce - he still doesn't know - it was just something that was waiting to happen I guess. My Dad is devastated. He has been talking medication to thin his blood for years to prevent this from ever happening. This is his worst fear - realized. He is having difficulty getting around, feeding himself and just doing the every day average things. He is still able to communicate, but not very effectively.
Rehabilitation is going to be required and I still have no idea how long he is going to be in Phoenix. Worse, I don't know what I can do to help him. I haven't even been able to get word to my husband. This is something that I can't send on an e-mail, there is a special manner for communicating something like this and without more details, I don't want to alarm him.
I just feel really helpless and I hate that. There is nothing worse in this world for a control freak than to realize that you have no control - really - over anything. I hate being so helpless while someone that I love suffers.