Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Cure All...

So it seems like every family has that "one thing" that they think is a cure for everything! Ever see that movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? I love that movie, it's hysterically funny! If you haven't seen it, you should definitely check it out. Anyhow, in the movie the main characters name is Tula, and Tula's father has a cure all. He believes that Windex will fix everything from sore throats and skin ailments to laundry stains.

In my family, the cure all is a baking soda paste. You know, mix baking soda and water - make it into a glue-y paste and then put it on whatever ails you. No, I haven't tried it on my laundry stains, but maybe I should.... At any rate, I made a baking soda paste last night. Wouldn't you know, my bump is gone this morning. At least 90% of it. My breast no longer looks like some sort of Martian anomaly.

I called my doctor and got an appointment anyway - for next week. When I was on the phone with him he said that acne there is quite common in pre- menopausal women. Something about our hormones and breast consistency changing. Great. That is just one more thing that the older women in our lives should tell us, but never do.

Some other things that the older women in my life should have mentioned:
1. if your period doesn't bother you when you are young, it will get increasingly worse with each child that you birth. If you have painful periods when you are young, the reverse is also true.
2. You know how people say about your children whatever you get the first time, you will get the opposite of with your second child? Believe it - it really is true!
3. You will kiss a lot of frogs in your life and you may never find a prince.
4. You don't need a man to do it for you. And if you do, you can pay one... you don't have to marry him.
5. 80% of men are only good for one thing, and some aren't even good for that.

My grandmothers favorite saying, " All men are the same, only their faces are different." Anyhow, the point of this mornings post is that sometimes that age old wisdom really is valid. Thank you mom for teaching me to put baking soda paste on everything. Wish you would have mentioned that our breasts change as we get older. Yuck. Isn't it bad enough I can already walk around with the television clicker underneath them. Now this?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh at the end of this Snow. Once upon a time mine pointed at people's chests without assistance, now they point at their feet.